The Ending Where Nobody Loses
by MalayaKai
Summary: Sequel to 'The Auction Where Everyone Wins'. Tanith heads back to the Normandy, a little worse for wear, looking for Lorik and finding Garrus. Will it all turn out alright in the end? K-meme request and follow-up. M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

[It really bugged me that no one would explain where the rest of the Normandy crew had gone, minus the very few that show up again. I started with that.]

* * *

Commander Shepard had all but kicked out as much of the crew as she could get away with before she made her trip to earth.

EDI could do everything a crew could as far as running the _Normandy_; the living crew were pretty obsolete, but she'd never say her living sentient counterparts didn't help her function better. But the last leg of the journey, they all knew, would put most of them in the brig. Or worse.

So it was that they made stop at a colony a few systems out and the Commander made her last set of commands.

They were to blame everything on her, if they were cornered, they were to disappear from Cerberus as best as they were able and required to contact a few specific people she knew if they had trouble getting out.

Most of them took the offer. Gabby and Kenneth snuck back on board. Joker stayed too. Said EDI was useless without her pilot.

Thane was the hardest to watch Shepard leave. The emotional and sexual chemistry between the two of them was palpable.

He was the last person to see the _Normandy_ leave the surface and break atmo.

The colony was a system over from Arcturus Station, giving them the distance and time to reinvent themselves if they felt the need to do so. Many of them did, knowing better than to underestimate Cerberus. Shepard's team left over the course of a week in different directions. Most of the human crew stayed planetside.

Kelly insisted that Tanith stick with her.

"Trust me, I've got lots more experience with Cerberus than you," she told her shorter partner in crime. "We'd do better here in this little colony than a city or a space station."

Tanith had shrugged at the time, her mind elsewhere; where else was she going to go, anyway?

Noveria sprang to mind, but Tanith had no desire to bring her troubles to Lorik, especially with how awkward they'd left things last time she'd seen him.

She groaned silently and willed away the memory. She really didn't want to dwell on that right now.

It was the tail end of growing season on the colony called 'Sorrow's End'. An optimistic name that suited Kelly Chambers just fine, but struck Tanith as a jinx. Still, the place was really nice, a solid community established as a farming colony about twelve years ago. They even had children there.

Technology, in most populated places, made a lot of manual labor obsolete, but farming was still done best under the sun with a hat and as many pairs of sturdy hands as you could find. Kelly and Tani had no problems finding work and establishing themselves as a pair of labor workers. Many of the former SR-2 crew followed suit in a variety of work, but most found a kind of meditative solace working the fields at least some of the time.

Their advanced training helped upgrade just about every piece of equipment, program, engineering whatever the place had, and the leery attitude of the colonial folk quickly faded to welcome and gratitude. Five months into the season flew by like nothing.

It was the happiest Tani had ever seen her crew-members.

Harvest season was in full swing, the growing seasons longer here than on earth. They'd pull in a massive bumper crop along with their all organic, no hormone or chemical haul. The suppliers would come in soon to buy directly from the farmers before too long; even though stasis pods could keep the stuff fresh indefinitely, having three harvests before the cold set in really cramped the locals for space. They hoped two more seasons like the last four would get them enough money to build the warehouses they needed, but for now, they sold their wares as often as they had a full inventory.

Mostly sold to suppliers of high end restaurants, they grew a variety of greens and fruits popular with Asari. It was an unintentional niche, but a very lucrative one. Every bountiful season led to a massive pay day. They had no intention of switching clientele any time soon.

Tani and Kelly were driving in a shuttle loaded with goods into what was playfully called 'market square'. It was really the landing strip, crowded with ships of all different make and model, suppliers lining up with datapads in hand, ready to bargain and bid and haul away some produce. It still surprised both of them that this tiny colony was so popular.

It made Tani very nervous.

"This place isn't as obscure as we thought," she told Kelly when they'd been told about the upcoming market day. "Over a hundred buyers on first harvest? The first day? This thing can go on for a whole_ week_!"

Kelly had laughed at her. "That's really not a lot, Tani," she teased. "You need to relax. Stop jumping at shadows! This place is great, they're successful, and we're on the ass-end of Cerberus' radar." She hugged her friend. "Please. Enjoy it here! We're safe! We can actually just live for a while."

Tani stared out over the shuttle port, uneasy. She still couldn't wrap her around it all.

I mean, I know what's out there. The Reapers are coming. We all know it. We're at a stalemate and this place is so small... The Commander said that they'd come after the well populated areas first.

She wanted to think that Shepard would stop it all before it went too far, before the machines came to planets like this one. She tried to convince herself that they were safe here.

But deep down, she knew better, and as the days went by, she became more and more certain as to what they needed to do.

They needed to leave, they needed to help. Cerberus be damned. There was no way Cerberus would stand by while humans, humans, were harvested against their wills. Or worse.

As they pulled in and landed, Tani made the decision to talk to Kelly about it that night when they were off. They couldn't stay here anymore. It was because of places like this that they needed to be out there and help.

They started unloading the sample crates on to the purchasing docks, nodding to fellow workers as they passed. Most everyone here they knew today, all ex-Cerberus, bringing in the goods and passing them out to the buyers for scanning. Before long, their voices were lifted in banter and laughter, comraderie blazing bright amongs the crewmembers of the Normandy.

After about ten minutes or so, Tani stopped what she was doing. She shaded her eyes against the afternoon sun, looking down the line as purchases were called and hauls were placed aboard ships.

That's funny, she thought. "Seems like everyone working the market today is all old crew..." she mumbled.

"What?" perked Kelly, distracted, keying through her pad to tally money and mark off inventory. She looked up and peered about, then shrugged. "Eh, it's probably just coincidence. There's gotta be more than just us; we'd be swamped!"

Tani shrugged too and went back to work, only to pause again, staring out over the square.

The only place that was busy at all ... was their end of the docks. All the other ships at the far end were empty, and no other shuttles from the colony but the ones on this end, brought in by Kelly and Tani and... and ...

All the old Cerberus crew.

Just as it dawned on her, every single 'buyer' turned around to face them and pulled out a couple of guns each. The collective gasps from the old Normandy crew were punctuated by dropping crates and muffled swear words.

From the depths of one ship came a man that moved with deadly grace, unnatural and too smooth for human joints. His face was half covered in optic enhancers and other bionic equipment, wires and technology that joined more past his collar and traced down his body. The hilt of a weapon, two of them, peaked over each shoulder. He wasn't anyone Tani recognize, but in an age were human culture blended happily with the other, it surprised her to find his features distinctly Asian.

"Who-" she began to whisper, only to have Kelly grip her wrist so hard Tani could have sworn she was grinding her bones together.

"Kai Leng," she breathed, the woman as pale as Tani could ever imagine, the red-head's eyes wide with horror.

When Tani opened her mouth to ask again, Kelly shoved her behind their shuttle. They were far enough back that there were no suppliers nearby; maybe they could sneak away and-

Kai Leng spoke. "Hello, my fellow coworkers," he said, his voice laced with arrogance, a private joke pulling half his mouth in a nasty smirk. "The Illusive Man wanted me to convey his gratitude for your years of service, but regrets to inform you that, as times are dire and loyalty the only commodity..." He raised a hand and gestured to his armed comrades. "He will have to terminate your contracts."

Pistols were raised. Disbelieving shouts given.

Cerberus open fired.


	2. Chapter 2

Tanith was surprised she wasn't shaking harder.

Tucked behind a stack of empty crates fifty yards beyond the massacre and ten yards from the private hanger the colonists kept their few precious, space-worthy ships. She was amazed she'd gotten this far, and she knew that even though she had just a little further to go, she was running out of time.

They were counting bodies, checking names and piling the corpses to incinerate them. When a particularly slender, red-haired body was added to the collection, Tani forced herself to look away.

Her keycode still worked on the hanger side door, and she slipped in quickly, locking it behind her. She was one of maybe a dozen former _Normandy_ crew that had access to the spaceships, primarily because of the work she'd done on most of them. Upgrades were easy to do, but ordering the parts needed from a supplier that wouldn't skin your pocket was the tricky part. Tani's old contacts had come in handy, especially in regards to the Mayor's baby.

It was where it had always been, front and center, easiest to pull out and launch and the prettiest one of the bunch. Tani felt a little pride swell through her as she keyed in a second access code and ascended the ramp as soon as it dropped. This ship was geared to the nines, sleeker than a star-yacht and a dozen times as fast. _The Gentleman_ had living quarters port and starboard, a galley with a kitchen, storage space to spare and several illegal modifications that made it both dangerous and near impossible to catch.

As she started the launch sequence and settled into the pilot's chair, it was with a tinge of bitterness that she recalled the gratitude of Mayor Tollson. He'd been so happy with her skillset and pleased that the mods were put in so quickly, glad to give them space and a home and a chance and ... and...

The world was getting blurry. Tanith brushed aside her tears and reminded herself that Cerberus was ruthless. She couldn't imagine how the colonists were threatened into giving up a part of their community they had welcomed so completely. The people wouldn't have given a choice. She just hoped that Cerberus would keep their promise.

She grit her teeth as the hangar doors opened, trying to find the bite and the anger to keep her eyes clear and her mind straight.

"It couldn't be all sunshine and orgasms forever now, could it?" she muttered to herself, before lanching her ship into space.

o0o0o0o0o0o

About ten hours later, Tanith was finally able to slap the auto-pilot. Not for any dramatic reason, like a chase or a dog fight, but because it was now quite possible she was exhausted enough to calm down, but too exhausted to go into hysterics.

It would take a good couple of weeks, if not longer, to get to the Citadel. Going the back way was guaranteed to tack on more time, but it'd be safer.

The more time she had to herself, though, the less she wanted to be that long by herself.

Maybe this place had booze.

She stalked into the galley and began opening containers and cupboards. The ship was fully stocked with supplies for long 'vacation', so the stuff was better than military fair, even with what Cerberus kept handy. There was alcohol too, and some really amazing food-

Kelly came to mind unbidden, and she could see her in her mind's eye, reaching over her smaller friend and chattering away about all the things she'd cook.

The top of the bottle went flying, practically up-ended down Tanith's throat.

She managed to get to the port side room without spilling anything, flopping on the bed, laying on her belly. Two more good swallows and she knew she was going to need to distract herself while she waited for the booze to work.

What better way to forget the visions of the day, then with the heartaches of the past?

"Desperate times," she mumbled, pulling up her omni-tool and accessing the folder of messages she'd archived, saved, and password protected.

None of them had been read, the few dozen there were, so she started at the bottom and worked her way forward. She wondered how far she was going to get before she passed out.

_***ENCRYPTED MESSAGE***_

_***.***. _

_Everything had been going so well until you ran away. I thought we had a good time and a great connection. I thought you found me dashing and endearing and completely charming. You said I could charm the pants off a serpent, several times, in that breathless voice of yours after we'd been fu-_

Tani slapped the device off and buried her head in her arms. No. No better. How was she ever going to ... and the world was getting warm and dizzy ... If they came for her now, she wouldn't even fight them off. She'd stand there with her chin up, just like Kelly, and say 'Yes, I am.'


	3. Chapter 3

_Tanith was wedged in the shadow of her shuttle and a mountain of empty crates, staring out at Kelly's form as the red-head ducked the fire and tried to make a run for it. It didn't work, though; she was tripped by a limber, faster agent and hauled up by her hair._

_Tani watched helplessly as a gun was leveled to Kelly's bright eyes. She heard the cold voice of the man with the weapon ask,_

_"Pretty little ginger. I think I've heard of you. Are you Kelly Chambers?"_

_Kelly lifted her chin, met the man's gaze with her own, and Tani was so proud of how calm her voice was._

_Kelly said, "Yes, I am."_

_The Cerberus agent smiled, and pulled the trigger._

_An explosion of blood and bone, and Tani's friend no longer had a face. _

o0o0o0o0o0o

Tanith bolted upright, the echo of a scream in her ears, bottle rolling off the bed, connecting to the floor with a thump that made her jerk. She was covered in sweat, breathing harder and shaking. She brushed her hair back with hands the shook like they were an active fault line, and she stopped to stare at them when they refused to do what she wanted.

Her fingers pressed against her eyes, steadying her bones as she willed herself to cry. She knew she needed to. She had to cry. It would make all of this so much easier ...

But she couldn't. She sat there for ten minutes and she couldn't make herself to anything more than whimper.


	4. Chapter 4

_***ENCRYPTED MESSAGE***_

_***.***. _

_You've apparently made me about as see-through as clear stuff they put in windows._

_It's been a few months and I haven't heard from you. Ms. Chambers contacted me though a few days back, and told me about your radio-silence and how it's colony wide for you and your Cerberus friends there. I'm hoping that's the real reason you haven't contacted me, and not because things ended so poorly. _

_So taking that in to account, I will continue writing you in the hopes you're listening. _

_I've hired a new personal assistant. In my attempts to encourage interspecies intergration, I kept my eye out for a human that met my qualifications. His name is Nigel Ohms, and he's a little too observant for my tastes, and far too excellent at his job. So he's both nosey and impossible to fire. _

_He caught me looking at an image of you I keep on my personal computer that I have in my office, and when I refused to comment on it, he did some snooping and eventually brought it up over a cup of tea. _

_Tea is a wonderful concept. I'm shocked he found one I could ingest. _

_Anyway, he encouraged me to continue communicating with you, and suggested that, over time, I try to explain myself over distance and time to hopefully... convey what I was trying to before you left. _

_For some reason, he found it interesting that you ran away. Apparently, it's more common for the females of your race to express emotional affection than it is for the males, and it's usually a source of much contention and the eventual ending of relationships. Is this true? I didn't believe him, not with how vehemently you argued and practically ran towards the docks._

_That aside, Tani ... I miss you, and I am sorry for whatever it is I didn't express properly. I will endeavor to do so until I hear from you again._

_Ever yours,_

_LQ_

Tanith was waiting on clearance at a small fueling station, locked into a regulated line and waiting her turn. Seated in her cockpit with time to kill, and unwilling to risk another god awful hangover on the crap left in the cupboards, she'd given in to temptation and queued up a message further down the list from Lorik.

It didn't surprise her that Kelly had initated contact through the unanimous agreement to stay quiet and off the radar, but the flare of alarm she felt the more she thought on it wasn't going away. There was a reason all the former iNormandy/i crew on the colony thought it was best to stay silent and off the comm; Cerberus was too good at what they did, and while they'd figured themselves to be too small-time to garner attention ...

iWell, that assumption was incorrect, and our first concerns turned out to be all too valid./i She rubbed the bridge of her nose, letting the rush of emotions flow through her without stopping them. When the grief and fear finally left her, she gave a little shake and took a deep breath.

"Getting a little easier every time," she murmured, taking the controls and guiding her ship into the fueling dock.

_***ENCRYPTED MESSAGE***_

_***.***. _

_I dream about you almost every night. _

_It's distracting, this feeling that you should be at my side when I wake up. Warm and soft and smelling like you do, of female and skin and sex and something faintly floral. I miss the few mornings I had to taste your skin before you woke up, to smell your hair and tangle my face into it._

_I love your hair. I love how silken and long it is, how it's thick and curls into funny shapes when it dries after we bathe. I love how you purr when I run my fingers through it, or how you run your fingers through it when you're on top of me, or across the room baiting me. _

_I love how your neck rises to hold your beautiful face on a pedastal of line and grace, how you move and turn and look and express so much in the shift of your shoulders or tilt of your spine. Whether you wear clothes or not, you wear dignity on your flesh like a shield, like armor grown beneath a radioative star. When you pace through my apartment, nude and without a care in the world, it's hard to fight the urge to lock you up and chain you to my bed forever. _

_It's late and this is mostly the rambling of a love-sick man. Maybe I've had a little too much wine and not enough romantic cinema. Maybe I just miss you and I fear you don't understand how much I care. How much I see. _

_You are the woman I never expected to find, so late into my life, and while I'm far from my end, I had resigned myself to a life of eternal bachelorhood. But now I imagine a life lived with the warmth of another, a face to wake up to everyday, the same face, and how I will see that face every day until the day I die. _

_I expected to feel sadder, given that you're gone, but all I can feel is gratitude, to you and the Spirits and the Universe at large, Reapers or no. What did I do to deserve such small, depthless moment of bliss and joy?_

_Ever yours,_

_LQ_

The siren telling her to move jerked her from her love letter, and with flushing cheeks, Tanith slapped at her omni-tool interface to deactivate it and yanked at the controls of her ship, getting it free of the docking mechanism safely if without grace. Within minutes she was in the proper flight lane and keying a course to the next waypoint.

"He's star systems away and he istill/i manages to get me into trouble," she mutters, fighting the urge to both smile and change course.

It was so close. Noveria wasn't even that far away. She could just-

Visions of Cerberus tracing her, impossibly so, to Port Hanshan and Lorik Qui'in and the horrible things they'd do to any non-human there, not to mention with the weapons resources and information-

A violent shake of her head and she kept her course, looking for the safest, most lonely route out.

No. No, she'd get herself to the Citadel and contact Lorik from there. Her chances of staying hidden and muddling her transmissions were much better out of open-space. She wasn't going to risk her baggage landing on his doorstep. He didn't deserve that.

No one did.


	5. Chapter 5

[This is going somewhere I really wasn't expecting. Maybe everyone WILL get a happy ending. ]

* * *

It pleased Tanith in a perverse, petulant kind of way that it wasn't Lorik that made her change her course on the way to the Citadel, but the _Normandy_ herself.

She didn't have that much further to go, almost a day, when the ship's VI posted information gleaned from Alliance communications on to her omni-tool.

She'd been wrestling with one of the oxygen scrubbers in the bowels of the engine room, trying to stay busy, when her arm bleeped. Rubbing t he part of her skull she'd manage to whack against the inside of the bulkhead, she queued up the information.

News that Earth had been invaded had reached her days ago, but this was new to her and it really shouldn't have been

Palaven was under attack as well, and with a far larger force than what hit Earth.

Filter forgotten, she stood without looking and made her way back to the living area, reading through reports and transcribed chatter. It made sense, of course; the Turians represented the best military force the Galaxy had to offer, why wouldn't the Reapers hit them with everything they had?

They weren't doing as well as everyone had feared, however. The Turians were holding their own to some degree, far stiffer in the spine than the Reapers had guessed. Rumor had it that the Reapers were pulling forces away from half-harvested colonies to increase the pressure on Palaven.

Tanith resisted the urge to swear, staring at images that made her flush with excitement.

The _Normandy_, her_ Normandy_, had been spotted leaving the Sol system, had docked on the Citadel for less than a day, and was now on a 'diplomatic' mission to Palaven.

"Diplomatic my round behind," Tanith muttered, heading towards the cockpit and keying up the quickest routes to the Turian homeworld. _Screw the Citadel. If I can get back on my ship-_ She didn't want to think about what she was attempting; jumping into a hot zone full of Reapers and pissed off Turians.

It didn't need to make sense. None of it did. She just knew she had to do it. She had to get back on her ship.

o0o0o0oo00o0o0o

The jump into Palaven space was as chaotic as she braced herself for, but she was far enough away to make manuvering easy enough, undetected amidst the fray. Finding the _Normandy_ was easy enough, but getting there took several nerve-wracking minutes of dodging fire and hurtling debris.

She wasn't stupid enough to hail the _Normandy_ while they were attempting a shuttle drop, and while she was a decent pilot, she didn't know if Joker would even let her dock without the Commander there. And noting the drop happened on the moon and not the planet, Tanith knew her assumptions were right. This was no simple diplomatic mission.

She waited almost an hour before callingin. She gave her old code and identification number, praying it would at least get her noticed by more than this little English twat giving her a hard time on the other end.

"Not that I blame them," she muttered under her breath.

A few minutes passed before a familiar voice rang through her ear piece, and she almost sobbed in relief to hear the tones of a friend.

"_Holy _shit_ is that you, Freak_?" Joker asked, a laugh in his voice. _"God, I hope it is, because you have no idea how perfect your timing i-i-i-i-"_

A stutter ran through the feed, and she blinked in surprise. Resident chatter and battle going on, EDI ran too fine a system to be remotely effected by something as small as a war. "Yeah, Joker, it's Tani. Talk to me, what's going on?"

No static, just comm-modulation upsets. _"-ip's going haywire. Tried- ...ontacting the Command- ... tower's dow-... crew not as familiar- ...-ong story. ...-an you get to me?"_

"Will my ship fit the bay?" Tanith asked, tapping at a few keys and guiding her ship to where the Normandy held orbit, safe and at a distance from the war raging around them

She heard a smirk, _heard_ it, through the comm system. _"Baby, you pull it up, I'll guide it in. We'll make it fit."_

"You are just as filthy as ever, Joker," Tanith laughed, jubilant for the first time in weeks.

_"No one here appreciates my humor. Hurry up, before comm d-d-d-d-d-de-"_ The disruption cut him off, but Tani knew what to do now.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The crew here were not military, not like the Cerberus crew was. Basic combat, maybe, but these kids were more brains than brawn. On a ship like this one, that was probably a benefit, but Tani found it eerie that she wasn't stopped once on her way to the CIC.

Then she got there, and realized it was probably because it wasn't the CIC anymore.

"Oh, baby," she murmured, running a passing hand over an exposed panel; the whole ship was in pieces. "What did they do to you?"

Lights flickered and levels shuddered as the Normandy wrestled with itself, throwing sparks now and again from the exposed wiring. When she finally got to the cockpit, she laughed as Joker turned and she happily fell into the completely unprofessional embrace. He gave her a snort and a good hug, pushing her back to look at her.

"Jesus, Freak ... you look like hell," he told her.

Straightening, she brushed at her eyes and growled in frustration at her body's betrayal. "Shut your face, Joker, or I'll break your collarbone. What's going on?"

His chair spun around as his hands danced over the console. He gave her a run down of where everyone was, the current mission, back-tracking to the ship escaping Earth with the skeleton crew it had, personel that had been in charge of re-furbishing the ship but not actually run it.

"They aren't a bad bunch, but if it weren't for EDI filling in all the holes, we'd be really screwed. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm completely willing to pick up the rest of you Cerberus defectors as soon as we can. That part of space is still Reaper free, right?" he asked, tilting his head up to look at her.

Memories battered at the walls she'd put up, and she clenched her jaw in resolute defiance.

"Nothing substantial," she murmured.

"That's great! We can-"

"No, Joker. We can't. I'm the only one left." _I will not cry. I will not cry. Please stop asking, please, please..._

Joker wasn't stupid. He turned back to the console. He was quiet as he tried a few more adjustments to the comm system. Then, "Slavers?"

"No." She took a slow, deep breath. "The Illusive Man didn't take our resignation very well."

"Son of a-"

_"Normandy, this is Liara T'soni coming in for dock. Joker, what's your status?"_

"I'm barely keeping her out of the life support systems, Doc, but she's somewhat... kind of ... stable. For the moment. If you give it a few seconds, I'm sure it will go haywire again. We got some extra help but you might want to get in here as fast as possible."

_"That's kind of the idea. Cortez is turning around for the second pick up as soon as I'm on board. Shepard's come into trouble locating the Primarch. Looks like the one we expected didn't make it. Rules of succession point her to the next one down the line, but it turns out he's a general on the front lines."_

Joker pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why can't anything ever be simple?"

_"Don't say that. Death by Reaper can be pretty simple."_

"My, aren't you cheerful. Hurry up and get in here."

"_Already aboard. Cortez is heading out. I'll be right there._"

o0o0o0o0ooo00o0o0o0o

Between Liara, Joker, and Tani, they got most of the systems calmed down by the time the Commander returned. Even knowing the ship had been stripped and put back together (mostly), Tani was surprised to find most everything still worked and responded the way it had on the original SR-2. Refurbished as it was, the mainframe was the same and the core systems, that _she_ had supplied the hardware for, hadn't been tampered with. Bypassing all the Alliance crap installed was easier than she expected, and while the Normandy still waged some kind of internal battle, for the most part life support and communications stabilized.

All of this had to be done from the cockpit, however; EDI's mainframe was locked through beyond the med-bay, several Alliance crew trying to pry open the doors as the AI was still not responding.

Commander Shepard boarded and made her way to the physical mainframe, and after that the cameras cut out.

Tani leaned over to stare at Joker's screen. "That's ... weird..." Joker made a strange sound of agreement. Without looking up, she slapped the back of his head.

"OW! What was that for? I agreed with you!"

"Stop looking at my cleavage. I'll break your pelvis."

"I was just appreciating the view. It's a shame you only like the tall, dark, and spikey ki- OW!"

"Don't be rude-"

A voice, familiar but no longer disembodied, resonated playfully behind them. "That, Specialist Delano, is completely impossible for Jeff."

Tani and Joker whirled around.

"Oh my," breathed Tani.

"Nng...nn..." managed Joker.

And there was EDI, in all her metallic, feminine glory.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Tanith was assigned to Cortez pretty quickly. While he didn't mind doubling as pilot and shuttle mechanic and stepping in as procurement officer, it was clear where his love truly lay. He was also the first to admit that her people skills far out-stripped his own.

"The discounts you brought in are still legendary," he told her with a small smile, passing the datapad to her after keying in her ID specs. "They're still charging me extra for ordering intergalactic."

Tani raised her eyebrows at him, eyeing the list of suppliers. She knew most of the owners personally, and even with the change of crew, that surprised her. "Did you tell them you'd kick back a percentage prefered minerals we found? The Normandy has an amazing refinery system. It saves everyone money and sends materials straight to EDI to repair, manufacture, or stack for trade." She stopped, wincing at the sound of her voice and the look of doubt on Cortez's features.

"I'm sorry. I forget you guys really haven't-" she began, then sighed. "Don't worry, I got this." She gave him a small smile. "It's all about exploiting EDI's lesser known qualities to give the suppliers what they really want." She tapped up the contact information of a mod supplier on Illium. "I got this," she repeated.

Per the Commander's instruction, the first set of orders was to supply and refit the Normandy up to par pre-Alliance and post-Cerberus. Half of the refurbishing done to the weapons were the last to get replaced, and with the invasion of Earth, many of the parts were left in the docks in Vancouver. Tani hadn't heard about Garrus' roar of frustration, but she was fairly sure she felt it through the floor panels.

Armed with several large crates, Tani felt a weird clench in her stomach as she made her way down to the Main Battery. She'd only been on the ship a few days, and already she was her usual, awkward, stumbling self around Officer Vakarian. Just like old times.

It wasn't that she was still smitten over him. Granted, he was still very attractive to her in all the ways a person appealed to her, but she was still cursed with that rigid loyalty to Lorik, even if their ... whatever ... wasn't exactly clearly defined. It had more to do with the fact that Garrus was the first Turian she'd seen and spoken to since she left Noveria.

Being around people helped. A lot. But being around a Turian only seemed to make her ... anxious.

And horny. She missed Lorik, and the letters she kept going through were getting dirtier and dirtier with every time-stamp.

She keyed in her code at the battery door, the chime notifying the occupant that she was coming in. The doors slid open without a wait, and using the dolly, she guided in the massive crates.

"_YES._" Garrus' triumphant cry made Tani jerk, the dual tones playing along her nerves like they always did. Turian voices were a senuous weapon. It wasn't fair.

Without so much as a grunt of effort, the top crate was lifted off and revealed her figure, and she busily tapped at her datapad to mark off the contents in her delivery from her manifest, tapping in their location and purpose. Halfway through her adjustments, the pad was pulled from her hands.

Garrus scrolled through the inventory list, a rumble of approval radiating through his chest. "Good, good... wow, Delano, you wasted no time getting back in touch with your friends, did you?" Blue eyes smiled down at her as he passed her the manifest. "The best AI in the galaxy can't harvest the kind of friendships that you can."

EDI's voice chimed through the main battery. "I feel a little resentment at that, Officer Vakarian. If given enough practice, there's a possibility I could-"

"No offense meant, EDI. It's only the trust issues between organics and machines I referred to, not your charming personality," came Garrus' reassuring reply. He winked down at Tanith, before stopping to pick up the next crate in the stack.

He had a few questions about the other items he'd need, and she made a note of them on her omni-tool. It bothered them both that the_ Normandy_ was so below standard when it came to her weapons; this was not how they left her and it was almost insulting that her teeth had been the first thing the Alliance had pulled.

As she took his next request on orders, she shook her head and muttered at some of the more basic, common-sense items on this list. "Ridiculous," she let slip, her irritation starting to show.

Garrus crossed his arms to look at her, posture tight and rigid as he waited for an explaination.

Tanith blushed with embarassment and shook her head. "I'm sorry, sir. It's just ... they take almost six months to dismember the greatest ship ever made, attempt to put her back together, only to leave her defenseless? And not just slight set backs to modify her guns, no, they pull the whole thing out and leave it on the floor of the docks because ... what? They're afraid someone will take her?"

He listens to her brief eruption without comment, and then gives a slow, Turian smile. "We-e-e-lll... that is what happened, isn't it?"

Her nostril's flare in irritation, fingers blindly queuing up a schematic, stepping forward to use his console. In a second, EDI's mainframe is on display. "This right here is a piece of engineering _genius_. An organic crew on this ship is almost obsolete, even _without_ the funtions of an AI. Granted, there isn't a VI that can keep up with our EDI, but still... if the Alliance wanted to make a few leaps ahead in their own fleet systems, if they'd spent half as much energy examining the mainframe as they did tearing out the guns-"

She's almost shouting. She knows this isn't a reason to get this upset. It's something else. A lot of something else.

A tremor of tension ripples through her, and for a moment she doesn't understand why. But then she feels a squeeze on her shoulder and realizes that Garrus has his hand on her. She shudders and can't help the lean in. She can't remember the last time she was truly touched, Joker's hug notwithstanding.

At her unintentional reaction, Garrus' eyes flicked to her neck, understanding on his face as he rumbles at her softly. Tani blushed, twitched and covered the mark under her ear.

Her brief stay on Noveria with Lorik had been a lot of things. Wonderful, romantic, emotional. It had also been quite intense, and the recollection of one of her last encounters with him had earned her a true Turian bite-mark. While she didn't regret it, it did mark her as what Joker had teasingly called her; a 'freak' for Turian lovings.

She'd been warned that by baring the mark, it would make her easy to identify to not just humans, but other Turians as well. Given as she was innately monogamous, she'd never really considered the bite as more than a right of claim. In this simple moment though, standing in the battery not a foot from the first Turian she'd ever had the hots for, his hand on her shoulder and her body resonating with need, she understood something else about the mark on her skin. It let other Turians know that not only did she appreciate them sexually, she could also handle them. Sexually.

"Are you alright?" Garrus asked, pitching his voice soft and low.

_Damn that voice._

With a slow, deep inhale, Tanith gently pushed aside his hand, standing a little straighter. Without planning on it, she did give him a gentle squeeze before releasing his fingers. "I... I am. Just ... stress, you know?" She gave a small laugh at the understatement. Grabbing her datapad and keying the dolly back into activation, she dipped her head in acknowledgement. "I have to get back to work. I'll put in your order right away, next stop we'll have the ability to get the _Normandy_'s teeth as sharp as they ever were."

Unwilling to allow herself the chance to be any more awkward, she practically fled the battery and the very interested Turian watching her go.


	6. Chapter 6

_I love how you shudder, once, when I first slide into you, how your soft thighs go slack and fall open in surrender those first few breaths, how your back arches, always, to some degree as you give yourself to me. You have no idea how much you embody every single trait I find delicious about your species._

_Your voice is constant, whether a sigh or a whimper or a moan or breathless mutter, even without the depth of subharmonics, the note of your tones are mellow and sweet, like bird song and melody. I love pushing your cries to new heights, making them spiral up and swing down, choke back and break again like water across stone. _

_The kiss of you, any part of you, from skin to lips to sex to breath, is pliant, soft, yielding like nothing about my species will let me be. The habit your kind has, of touching mouths and tongues, is enticingly indecent and incredibly addictive, but with you especially. I could kiss you all day. _

_I'm four hours into my usual sleep cycle, but the business of war has begun to trickle to my little port here on Noveria. It's irritating; I'd been hoping maybe Cerberus had forgotten about us._

"The uniform suits you."

Tanith jerked and practically stabbed her omni-tool shut, looking up at Garrus as he sat across from her in the mess hall, a tray of food in front of him. Flushing with the heat of Lorik's newest letter and the intense, almost knowing gaze of the Turian sitting across from her, she tugged at her collar self-consciously.

"Yeah?" she replied intelligently. "The Commander officially conscripted me last night. It's still a little stiff."

He took a bird-like bite of his food, rrmmming thoughtfully and swallowing before replying. "I broke in my C-Sec unifrom by washing it wrapped around my armor boots." At her dubious look, he laughed. "They were clean! The weight worked on the fibers and loosened them up. That's assuming the material is the same."

Tanith squirmed. It wasn't a bad idea, actually. She wondered who's boots she could borrow.

The moment the night before, when Shepard had called her to her quarters and both congratulated her and threw a small duffle at her... well, it was unexpected to say the least. And overwhelming. Not just getting rolled into the Alliance without so much as a piece of paper declaring her new place in the universe, but being there, in the Loft, the Commander out of armor and tired, eyes exhausted and strangely pleased. The details of the spacious room haunted Tanith into her dreams, images of a Drell in a twitching photo-frame, datapads strewn everywhere, the blue, liquid light shadowed and dappled by exotic fish...

She shook herself and blinked at Garrus, his expectant pose, head tilted as he watched her.

_Crap. He asked me something. What was it?_

Since their conversation in the forward battery, he hadn't disguised his interest in her, not in the slightest, but he'd remained professional and relaxed. He smiled at her whenever he saw her, and seemed to prefer her company in the mess, or the lounge, or on the various space stations, the Citadel-

Now that she thought about it, he prefered her company a lot. Why hadn't she noticed it before?

_Because you like him. And you're lonely. And you're trying not to think about how much you miss your boyfr- Er. Whatever. Or how his latest letters point more and more to Cerberus on Noveria._

Her brow crinkled. She doubted anyone had that kind of intel right now. Maybe they did, but what if...

Eyes flicking from her hands to his eyes, she apologized to Garrus. "I'm sorry, I missed that. I ... have some things in my head, and now that I think on it ... Can you tell the commander something for me, see if it rings any bells, or interest?"

At his nod, she took a deep breath. "I'm ... sort of in a relationship with Lorik Qui'in. I think. Maybe. Last I checked?" She tweaked, and continued. "He's been sending me letters, but because I'm pretty sure my omni-tool still has Cerberus software on it, I haven't been able to disable the programs and spy-ware to reply without getting traced. I've been meaning to get it looked at, but ..."

Garrus folded his hands under his chin, still and serious, listening. She cleared her throat and went on.

"Anyway, I'm sure scuttlebutt has gone 'round and you know who he is. His last few letters or so, he's mentioned Cerberus presence on Noveria, and not just as usual clientele to the hot labs. Policy states he can't ban anyone without good reason, but I can tell he's getting nervous. And Lorik ... never gets nervous." She bit her lip. "Have you guys heard anything about that? None of the debriefings I've read have-"

"We're mostly on Shepard's crusade to unit the galaxy in peace, love, and fire-power," Garrus interrupted with an amused drawl, a small smile flicking through his avian features. "She'll definitely want to hear about this."

Relief flooded her, along with a sharp pang of anxiety, and guilt. "I didn't know if you knew about ... ah ... Lorik, and I wasn't-"

He stood slowly, cutting her off as she feared she'd offended him. Instead, she was startled to find his smile widening. "Scuttlebutt is pretty fierce around here, Delano," he chuckled softly. "I knew you were involved with the Hanshan Administrator, if that's what you're worried about."

Tanith frowned at him, confused. "Then... why did you-"

He did the Turian-equivelant of an arched eyebrow, and for the love of God, if you asked her to describe it, she would never be able to. "Why did I what?" he purred.

She blushed. He was _teasing_ her. "Um."

He let her drown in awkwardness for a full twenty seconds before placing his hands on the table and leaning down towards her. "Why did I ... express interest?"

She nodded, blushing harder.

He smiled, then stood up straight and turned slowly away, heading towards the elevator.

"See you later, Delano," he called over his shoulder, dual-toned, liquid voice skipping over her nerves. "I'll get back to you on what the Commander figures out about Noveria."

Tanith sat there, blinking at his retreating back, mind going blank.

She blinked again, and then shoved up from the table and stomped to the starboard lounge, calling in a request to meet EDI 'right now'. The AI answered a comply, and Tanith fumed silently at the stars as she waited, pulling up her personal interface and accessing the sub-routines. She was fairly certain that, if anyone could get all the Cerberus crap off her omni-tool, it was EDI without a doubt.

She glared at the lines of code flicking through her transparent screen, eyes unseeing in her agitation. _I need to talk to Lorik about us and this ... this thing and figure out what the Turian hell this is all about. I'm either going to lose my mind or rape the closest Turian-like thing I can find. _

Practically jabbing at her arm, she grit her teeth, then, stomping her foot in frustration, she barked in exasperation. "MEN."


	7. Chapter 7

"EDI, I've lost complete faith in you. How could you do this to me?"

The fact that the mobile platform looked so offended by this statement made Tanith immediately regret her words. Holding her hands up in surrender, she sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just figured Cerberus software would be easy for you to get rid of."

"Without wanting to mislead you, Crewman Delano, I told you it would be time consuming. I did not say it would be difficult. I've uploaded and linked in to your omni-tool, using my spare memory to work on the problem. I don't know how long it will take me as the perameters keep changing every time I remove a portion of the malware. " EDI crossed her arms and even managed to look exasperated. "I would suggest backing up as much of your personal data as you can before I begin. I'm uncertain as to how much of it could be lost if my attempts backfire."

Tanith mumbled something about life, at one point, being simple, but nodded at EDI. "Alright. Start tonight, say 2100? I'll have it ready to go by then."

"Your personal interface will still be functional, to a degree, but I wouldn't recommend over-taxing it or communicating with it until I let you know how much progress I've obtained."

"Thanks EDI."

Tanith turned to leave.

"Crewman Delano."

She paused, tilting her head to look at the mobile platform of her ship's AI. "Yes?"

"If your desire is to communicate with loved ones or friends, I'm sure the Commander will be happy to let you use the Normandy comm room to achieve your goals. Several of the crew have asked permission to do so to reach relatives on other colonies and space stations. I do not see there being an issue should you request the same."

o0o0o0o0o

EDI's suggestion was pretty fantastic; Tani didn't know why she hadn't thought of it before. Permission was granted to her fairly quickly, and she added her name to the free schedule for a one hour slot at a time during the third shift. It was 50/50 she'd actually ring Lorik at a decent hour, but at this point, she'd settle for leaving him a breathy voicemail message with lots of swear words and wet noises in the background.

As revenge only, of course.

The full 3D holo communicator was something Tani rarely got to play with, on the Normandy or otherwise. It wasn't that it was inconvenient, it was just rare to find one for public use. Most folks couldn't afford something like this standard either sending or receiving, it was still a fairly information-heavy form of communication.

But she knew for a fact Lorik had one in his personal offices.

For some ridiculous reason, she treated her preparation for the call like a date. And not just any date, but the first one. She scrubbed herself from head to toe and did that thing to her hair that made it extra full and wavy. She even made herself smell extra nice. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror after she'd dressed, she rolled her eyes at her own appearance and bit her tongue as she smiled.

_Well I'll be damned. I missed him._ The thought wasn't as suprising as she had anticipated it to be. She had a lot of feelings for Lorik. She might even ... uh ... that-L-word-thing him. She could blame her hesitance on her baggage or her fears or this stupid fucked up war, but it was a fact that she still didn't know how she really felt.

Questions about the future and her heart swam behind her eyes, sobering her expression in the mirror faster than thoughts of Elcor vomit or Hanar pornography. She sighed at herself and gathered her things out of the communal bathroom, determined to not let it get her down too much; she wanted Lorik to be happy to see her, not worried she was calling him to tell him she was breaking it off with him. Or riddled with cancer.

Third shift was essentially the 'night' shift, and while most ships had an equal number of crew present during every shift, most ships didn't have EDI. Spoiled by their AI, the crew rarely missed out on each other or stressed too much about work not getting done; EDI was more than happy to handle the slack. Not that there was any.

The corridors were quiet and empty, and Tanith resisted the urge to skip out of the elevator and into the CIC. It was still fairly abandoned, and the single guard on shift on her way to the comm room and tactical area did little more than nod at her in greeting, marking her name off the posted schedule.

She was so anxious and excited her hands were shaking when she entered the large comm cubicle, fingers trembling as she tapped in her call request. She fussed with her simple white tank and long dark hair, running her hands down her full hips and checking to make sure everything was buttoned, zipped, and tucked in while the request processed. After a minute, she found herself whispering little prayers, bouncing on her toes, long hair swinging.

_Oh gosh darnit ... he's not going to be there, he won't be available.. Looks like I'll have to leave a message after all..._

She fought the disappointment and lifted her chin in resignation. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, ready to-

"-orik Qui'in, Administrator of Port Hanshan, Noveria. Who is-"

"Oh _crap_-" squeaked Tanith in surprise.

There was a lurch as the figure darted forward in the holo grid, presumably at the controls to tighten the feed. As he came into clear focus, just as she was sure her image was on his end, Tanith felt her hands cover her mouth as her tall, dark Turian lover manifested in light and energy not two feet from her.

"Tanith!" he gasped, elated, startled, relieved... he took a step forward, the motion not registering on her end, but she could see he reached for her image, just as she would have. She felt tears on her face, and laughed at how ridiculous the two of them were.

"I got your letters," she gasped, smiling through the emotion, leaning forward to make it easier for him to see her. "I'm still working on most of them, but I couldn't reply. Cerberus-"

"I know, I know, my girl, it's quite alright, I thought as much. Tanith... Tanith it's good to see you safe. Where are you transmitting from? Wait, no, maybe I shouldn't- are you really, truly safe, at least?" He looked so concerned, brow-plates furrowed, fringe bristling a little, limbs anxious and shoulders tight.

_Hell. Maybe I do love him. _

Feeling her heart swell at his endearments and concern, she shook her head. "Somewhere safe, but I don't know for how long, or if I'll even make it to you any time soon. But yes, somewhere safe. Is the feed scrambled? You can't see origin of call?"

"No, it's why I answered it myself. My silly assisstant was going to let it go to comm-mail."

Tanith laughed. "Don't be too hard on him. I would have too."

His mandibles twitched; he did like her laughter, and had said as much in the past. "Tani..." he breathed. "How much time do we have?"

"Just an hour. But I can check in every so often-"

"No, don't promise me anything. Things here aren't ... as stable as I like, and I don't trust anyone or anything here. There's been a shift of power in certain parts of my facilities, and I'm sure you know which. I may have to put a call into our old friend Shepard if this keeps up. "

Tanith was no good at poker, but she kept most of her face still when he said that.

Most of it.

His browplates rose and he straightened a little. He cleared his throat. "I'm sure it will settle down soon, though."

_Code for 'things are going to blow up if it stays this way for much longer, I think help will be in order soon.'_ Message received; she was going to need to pass the word on to her Commander.

Tani gave a small smile. "That's good to hear."_ Code for 'I got you.'_

The relief on his face was palpable, but only for a moment. His shoulders squared and he gave a small nod to her, smiling back. "So, besides being safe and sound where you are, how are you?" The relief became amusement and comfortable affection within the span of a breath.

She considered her options to his question. It was obvious he was worried about eavesdropping, and she didn't blame him. For her part, she didn't want to talk to him about the massacre of her friends and her escape ... yet. She was still trying to deal with that herself, not to mention it could red-flag him for all kinds of Cerberus trouble. Rather, imore/i Cerberus trouble, if she had heard his hint correctly.

As she mused over her responses, gazing at his tall form and missing him and everything about him, she idly rubbed her neck, fingers passing over the scar there.

Then she jerked and jabbed a finger towards his glowing image. "You! You _marked_ me funny!" she accused, loving how he didn't even jump. Instead he looked amused, holding his hands behind his back, shoulders relaxing as he regarded her.

"Oh? How do you mean?"

"I have Turians hitting on me!"

"That's hardly my fault if you display your neck as you do. On a Turian woman, it's mark of ownership, but her Turian mate usually carries one to match. On a ihuman/i? I'd imagine it's much more provacative as... somewhat else. An advertisement of your tastes, perhaps. And your abilities." His mandibles flicked with humor at that last bit. "Mostly to other Turians."

Tanith felt herself flushing. "Yes I gathered that," she snapped. "But if it's a claim, as you say, why are there those who almost seem to disregard what it means, as mark of claim?"

He threw his head back and laughed. She tried not to feel indignant, but knew some of it registered on her face.

"Oh, my dear," he chuckled, a little breathless. "Humans. I forget how you are about sex and monogamy. The two aren't mutually exclusive, you know. In fact, while knowing I'm the only one that can touch you is sometimes an awe-inspiring thing, it's absolutely bizarre that you'd think I'd ask you to keep to yourself. I understand your sexual practices and relationship issues are tied up with this idea that sex with another individual can sometimes negate the validity of one-"

Tanith crossed her eyes at him. He stopped talking and sighed.

"Turians are, in general, much more relaxed about sex and relationships and mating than you humans seems to be. If your concern is about remaining ... ah ... 'faithful' ..." he ventured.

Uh oh. Dangerous territory. Tanith held up her hands in surrender. "No, I just want to know why being visbly 'claimed' isn't deterring any of the advances I've received." Advance. Single. She was such a bad liar.

Lorik twitched a brow at her, mandibles flaring in a small smile. "You're available and capable, my dear, beautiful girl, equal in pursuit rights as a Turian woman. If a Turian man finds you attractive, he can express interest in sex or in something more meaningful. Whether you accept him in either regard is up to you."

Tanith let this sink in, trying not to squirm where she stood. "You guys are a strange, spikey bunch," she muttered. His image chuckled softly at her.

"And you humans are a lot of squishy prudes. May I be so bold as to offer advice?" he ventured.

She nodded.

"If you're inclined to accept an offer but resist because of some sort of human monogamous honor, I would tell you not to. _I_ am certainly not receiving any such offers, and frankly I'm a little jealous. Of you. A decent romp in the covers would do this poor body some good right now."

His casual commentary had her giggling before she could stop herself, and his smile in response made her month.

"Can I ask ... who is he?" he murmured, tilting his head at her.

That brought her back down to earth, blushing furiously. She mumbled.

Lorik made a show of leaning forward. "Pardon? I'm old darling, remember that."

Tanith glared at him. "Garrus Vakarian."

His eyes went wide in surprise, and he straightened tightly. "My. You are quite the prize to attract the attention of such a man."

She blinked. "What do you mean?"

He blinked right back at her. "I can count on one hand how many bodies he is from the position of Primarch. And he's a general now, as well, last I heard. At complete disposal to the invasion rebuttal on Palaven too, correct?"

That definitely took her by surprise; how had he learned all that and she'd barely remembered til now? "...oh."

"Well, now I'm absurdly proud to have claimed you first. That he should fancy my girl... and such a lovely young man himself, too. Mmm." He stared off into the distance, mandibles flicking now and then. "This is liable to warm me to sleep every night for now until I get my hands on you again."

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, amazed, blushing, and no little amused herself now. "A lovely young man, Lorik?" she asked, arching her eyebrow in turn at him. "Something you'd like to tell me?"

He actually rolled his eyes at her. "Yes. You humans are all prudes and have no idea what you're missing by restricting yourself by both species and gender. Sassy thing."

She bristled at him, and he laughed at her.

o0o0o0o0o0o

The call progressed and wound down after that, small talk and words of vague endearment, and some not so vague banter about what would happen next time they saw each other, vid or otherwise. She promised to strip half way and he promised to growl at her. In the end, they were both smiling.

"Take care of yourself out there, Lorik," she murmured, hand hovering over the signal command. "I'll contact you when I can."

"And you too, my girl. I hope to see you in one piece soon." His figured bowed, his eyes gentle, warm, and sincere. "Until next time." He paused, leaning closer. "And ... good luck with your new suitor, should you choose to pursue him."

Rolling her eyes, she stuck her tongue out at him. "Dirty old man."

"Brazen little girl."

She gave him a small smile, and ended the call.


	8. Chapter 8

In effect, Lorik had given Tanith permission to accept, even enjoy, the advances she'd been receiving from Garrus Vakarian, and so far it was making her days a pleasant kind of hell.

Turians were always a fascination for her, and when she come to the Normandy SR2 Kelly Chambers exploited her crush and lust for the weapons specialist mercilessly. It was with a twinge of nostalgia and grief that Tanith remembered this, smiling ruefully as the memory surfaced while her hands were busy at work.

Often at the requisitions console, sifting through the mods their missions made available to them or the Commander salvaged/stole/found/looted on her various travels throughout the 'verse, it was easy for the words and letters to blur, a pleasant mental auto-pilot that kept her sane and busy. But the past few days, Garrus Vakarian kept finding reasons to 'drop by' and commandeer replicated mods for his beloved sniper rifle.

She'd seen the well-loved weapon in the forward battery, in a constant state of improvement and so completely customized it was hard to guess what the original model had even been. If Frankenstein was a sniper rifle and had class, that gun would be it. She knew for a fact that he didn't need to go through the stores via comm; his contacts would ship him whatever he wanted, from people who weren't technically merchants, giving him access to any of the mods at a price even she couldn't conjure.

No, he came down to the shuttle deck just to torture her. She was certain of this.

It would start with a greeting from behind her when he left the elevator doors, silent footsteps to get about six inches away from her ear and rumble a 'good morning, Delano' in the lowest register she could hear. It always, always, *always* sent vibrations from her ears to her toes, pooling in her hips for a few percious moments that would make her hands falter in their ceaseless cataloguing.

And it wasn't always in the morning, oh no. He made sure to randomize his visits. It set her on pleasant edge and often had her looking over her shoulder whenever she heard the elevator accessed.

But while her days were so busy and ... interesting, her nights were another matter.

The first time she had night terrors in the quarters she shared with the rest of the crew, she'd managed to stop the scream before it burst from her, sitting up so fast she almost hit her head on the bunk above her. Looking around, she was relieved to find everyone else on her sleeping shift still resting, the crewmen quarters silent save for the muted thrumming of the Normandy's engines.

Despite her relief, though, the images of the nightmare were still too vivid. She was unable to get back to sleep.

It was hard to feel rested on three hours, but she made do often enough. Coffee and stims helped, but she couldn't survive on them forever.

And the dreams would always come back.

She managed most times to stifle herself but she was never able to sleep afterwards. It was on a shift such as this when, alone in the mess hall, a cup of coffee steaming in front of her, Garrus caught her with her head in her hands.

"Hey..." came the reverberating tones of her second favorite Turian. Her head came up in surprise.

"Hey," she replied without thinking. She blinked at him. "What are you doing up?"

He slid into the seat across from her, a dextro version coffee in his hands. "I was about to ask you the same thing. You humans sleep more than my species does." He sipped his drink. "Bad dreams?" he asked playfully, mandibles quirking in a smile.

Tanith felt herself flinch, and looked away.

"Oh." He managed to sound embarassed. "Damn. Sorry, I was just-"

"No," she mumbled, turning back to him with a small smile. "Lucky guess."

"Heh." Silence. A sip. Then- "Do you want to talk about it?"

Tanith closed her eyes. Red hair. Shattered bone and spraying blood. She took a slow, deep breath.

"No," she whispered. "Not yet."

The silence and the look on Garrus's face had her squirming with discomfort in record time. This wasn't what she wanted, not right now. She needed to wake up from her nightmare, not relive it. She needed a distraction.

"So, how about you?" she asked, pulling herself together enough to smile at him. He returned the expression, shrugging.

"Like I said, Turians don't sleep as long as you humans do. We tend to sleep for about four hours, and it's enough. I blame it on the military life; it's hard to sleep for long when you could die, violently, at any moment." The tone was too amused to take the words as anything but teasing, despite the truth to them. "No, this is usually when I take advantage of the hour and steal Vega's punching bag, go a few rounds."

Tanith laughed. "To keep in shape or to piss him off?"

A smug smile. "Both." He sipped from his cup. "How about you? Does Cerberus even offer hand-to-hand combat in pro-human, xenophobic warrior training?"

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You know they did. Just because we didn't go out on the field, doesn't mean we weren't ready to. Though," she snorted, "Didn't mean crap against the Collectors. But to be fair, they cheated; it's hard to punch a tiny, zipping little bug in the face or kick it in the kneecaps."

Garrus laughed and stood up. "Excuses, excuses. Come on."

She blinked up at him. "What? Where?"

"You're going to work out with me."

"Garrus Vakarian, are you calling me fat?"

"Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about a little jiggle to a woman's- OW! Hey! That's not fair, we aren't on the mats yet-"

It was quiet in the shuttlebay, easy to forget there was a war on despite the nature of what they were doing. Getting lost in the old forms and habits (was it really so long ago?) was surprisingly easy, but Tanith had to concede that Garrus was much better than she.

Even with Cerberus' emphasis on fighting non-human opponents, he out-matched her in both experience and strength and reach, but she was quick and flexible. More than once his eyes went wide when she managed to undulate out of the way, bending backwards or twisting sharply as she ducked and evaded. He was starting to catch on, however, and it was getting harder to dodge his grabs and strikes.

So she decided to play dirty.

After tumbling backwards and out of the way, panting, hands raised in an easy defensive posture, she grinned at him.

"So," she began casually, watching his shirtless torso with interest as muscles tensed; he was preparing to lunge. "My boyfriend thinks you're quite fuckable."

She wasn't sure what did it; her use of a swear word (she was notorious for never, ever uttering more than the mildest of epithets), or her chosen topic. Either way, it had the desired effect.

Garrus, his eyes going wide in surprise, tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his scarred face.

It was over-kill, the most undignified thing Tanith had ever seen. And the funniest.

She didn't stop laughing even when he managed to stand and stalk over to her, flat on her ass and arms on her knees. When he crossed his arms across his chest, glaring down at her, she tried to rein it in but oh, it was so difficult.

Eventually he gave up and plopped down next to her, also breathing hard. His mandibles flicked, Garrus flustered, and she could see the flush of blue rising in his face. It made it easier to calm herself down.

"Why Mr. Vakarian. I do believe that's a blush I see."

"You cheated. Again."

Still chuckling, she managed to press a hand to her chest and look offended. "What! Me?" She grinned. "Only a little. I had to. You were going to beat me."

"Hmph." He reached over and grabbed his shirt, fiddling with the fabric like he couldn't decide whether to redress or haul himself to a shower. "I can't believe you talked to your boyfriend about me."

She twitched an eyebrow upward. "I had to. I needed to know what I was getting in to. Despite what you may think, I'm not all that familiar with the customs of your species. And Lorik Qui'in isn't your typical Turian in most ways. He's apparently a bad example."

Garrus snorted. "I can relate, trust me." He leaned back on his hands. "So... he thinks I'm... what was the word you used?"

This time, Tanith found it was her turn to blush. "Um... attractive?"

He grinned at her and leaned towards her. "That wasn't the word, Delano."

She ducked her head and threw her knuckle wraps at him. "I know it wasn't, but I don't think I can pull it off again without feeling threatened. It was a one time thing. Until I think you're going to jump me again-"

She should have seen it coming.

His hand was around her ankle and yanking her forwards, and before she knew it she was on her back and pinned to the floor, blue eyes boring in to her, a half-naked Turian straddling her.

"Holy crap, Vakarian-"

"Say it."

"No!" she laughed, squirming. "This doesn't count! You're not...not really going to... uh... to..." He was leaning closer, doing that purr thing that Lorik did when he was really, really, really aroused. She bit her lip. It was getting really warm in here.

She felt his breath on her cheek, his hands linked to hers, pinning them somewhere above her head.

Now it was getting hard to think. Closing her eyes, she took a long, deep breath, smelling gun oil, spice, and something specific to Garrus Vakarian. She gave in.

"Fuckable," she whispered with a half smile, opening her eyes to look up at him. "He's quite attracted to you and the idea that you ... might ... like me."

"Oh is he?" he murmured.

"Something about being a nubile young man."

He blinked and laughed at that, sitting up, releasing her hands and leaning on his thighs. "That... is not a description I ever expected to receive."

She grinned and shrugged, pulling herself up to lean back on her elbows. "Yeah well... Lorik's a dirty old man."

"Mmm." He stood up slowly, reluctantly, offering her help up. She accepted, feeling both relieved and disappointed. "You know, I've met him before. I never would have guessed at the depth of his depravity then."

She caught the towel he tossed her, wiping her face before pulling it around her neck. She tried to glare at him. "What, having a kink for humans is depraved?" She almost managed a straight face. Almost.

Garrus laughed, a deep, throaty chuckle that her rocking to her toes in delight. "No. Unusual, maybe, but hardly depraved. I mean, you humans aren't that dissimilar to the Asari, and we've been knocking boots with those blue beauties for centuries." He tapped the call button when they reached the elevators, stepping in after her when the doors opened. "No, I'm refering more to his corruption of you into a xenophile." He waggled his brow-plates at her.

She'd been taking a drink from her water-bottle when he said that, inhaling sharply and coughing violently for a few seconds. And then she was laughing.

"Hate to tell you this, Vakarian," she choked, "but that achievement is actually all yours." She was blushing again. _Dammit. _

Silence reigned, even when the doors opened on the crew floor. He was staring at her. "You're kidding."

She pointed to her pink face. "See this? This would happen every time I met with you, remember? Back before the Collector mission. Didn't you think it was weird that I could barely speak to you when I took your requisition orders?"

"Honestly? I just thought you were being shy. Seriously, this whole time you've been... I mean that's just..." He seemed at an actual lost, and she was pretty amused by it. He was rubbing the back of his neck, mandibles flaring in a sheepish grin. "Huh. So then... on Omega..." He peered at her. "Is that story about the fetish convention and the auction nonsense all true?"

She was blushing again, trying not to stumble as she left the elevator and head towards the women's showers. "Well... I figured if I was going to pursue you, I need some hands on research," she muttered.

She turned away, flustered, but a sneaky finger caught the back of her pants, dragging her backwards and around. Garrus settled his hands on her shoulders, peering down at her.

"You know," he murmured. "I never considered cross-species intercourse before... before..." His eyes flicked to her neck, to the scarring mark there. Tanith swallowed dryly. "Not that you're unattractive or anything, but... I never really thought it possible. And then you had to run off and let the Hanshan Administrator bite you and now it's all I wonder about."

_Oh god. _Well, if ever Tani needed a distraction from her bad dreams, here it was...

But...

She frowned a little. "So it's curiosity, then, that feeds the desire?" It couldn't be helped; that idea stung a little and the hurt bled into her voice. "It's something to be indulged and then... what? It works for you or it doesn't?"

Garrus drew back a little, surprised. He withdrew his touch from her. "That's not exactly how I meant-"

She held up a hand, sighing, pinching the bridge of her nose. "No, no. It's ... I was stupid to think that I could actually-" and she cut herself off. The heat still resonated through her bones but the anxiety and melancholy was cooling it all into nothing. She dropped her hands and looked up at him. "Look, Vakarian... maybe... I'm just not built for all this attention. I mean... I can barely focus on one turian lover, and I can't tell if you want me because I'm me or because I'm human and it'd be such a novelty. And regardless of biology, I'm having a hard time wrapping my brains around the notion of multiple lovers, or polyamoury, or whatever." She was babbling. She was babbling because she was confused, and stressed.

_God dammit, I hate it when I do this. _

Garrus was staring at her with a look she couldn't decipher, and while her mouth had more to say, her head didn't. Lost, she stared back at him for a moment, before abruptly turning around and heading into the women's showers, leaving him there to watch her go. Again.


	9. Chapter 9

Despite the awkwardness from their previous conversation, because, let's face it, Tanith had done a few of those in the last year, it didn't stop her from meeting up with Garrus to spar whenever she couldn't sleep anymore.

Which happened more frequently than she cared to admit.

Garrus, to his credit, didn't say anything, but after about the tenth day of running only on stims, coffee, hand-to-hand sparring, and three hours of sleep, she was beginning to degenerate. It became second nature to recheck her work three times before she sent anything through, take cold showers whenever her screen got blurry, and avoid Doctor Chakwas like the plague. Thankfully, she still manage to catch herself from her dreams before she woke the shift she bunked with, but that was bound to end sooner or later.

Two weeks into this new pattern, she stopped being so lucky.

She bolted upright to find the bunkmates on either side of her half scrambling for their side-arms, panting and startled.

"_Shit_, Delano!"

"_Fucking hell_-"

"What _was_ that?"

Mortified, she mumbled an apology. Someone croaked a joke about 'screaming wet dreams', and she managed a convincing chuckle. Still, moments later, when everyone had settled back down and sleep claimed the room, Tanith dressed quietly and made her way out to the mess hall. There'd be no more sleep for her again tonight.

The next night, she woke to find every occupant of the room staring at her, the sound of a horrified wail still reverberating through the room. She was covered in sweat, embarassed, running a hand over her face.

"I'm sorry, guys-" she stammered, mortified that she'd failed again.

"Jesus, Delano," muttered the woman who'd been sleeping across from her, a cheerful brunette named Rachel. Her expression wasn't one of anger or irritation. In fact, everyone Tani could see was gazing at her with that same expression.

It was sympathy.

"What?" Tanith stuttered.

Another crewman on the opposite side whispered, "What the hell did you see that makes you scream like that?"

An image flashed behind her eyes; Cerberus uniforms and her slaughtered friends; red hair above a wreckage of bone and blood where Kelly's face used to be.

The silence in the room stretched out. It's in this quiet that Tanith wraps her blanket around herself and yanks out the duffel in the locker she'd been given.

She knows it's not enmity or apathy that keeps them silent. No, it's respect for her wishes and her unspoken decision, and her admittance of the situation: she can't stop the terrors, and the crew needs to be rested. She knows she's not the only one with monsters in her head.

She pauses outside the closed door of the crew quarters, ignoring the fact that she's barefoot and wearing nothing more than panties and a tank-top. Taking a deep breath, she tries to consider her options. EDI's voice jars her from her thoughts.

"Crewman Delano," comes the AI's voice, modified low and soft; she sounds almost compassionate. "If I can offer a solution to your current situation?"

Tanith blinks, and then sighs. "Yes, EDI? Anything would be helpful right now," she whispers sadly.

"The engineering deck has a lower compartment that was once occupied by Jack during the Collector mission. If I recall correctly, it still contains a cot and a crate of bedding material. It's been casually used to stow excess supplies left around when we escaped Earth, but I'm sure it will suit your needs."

"EDI, that's a fantastic idea. I'll go there now. Thank you."

"You are most welcome. Please rest well, if you are able."

o0o0o0o00oo0o0o0o0o

"You look like hell, Tanith."

She looked up from where her hands were braced on the console, knowing Lorik's tone even through the comm projection; he was worried.

She waved a hand, trying to ease his concern. "I'm not sleeping well, is all. Don't worry, I'll talk to Doctor Chakwas about it." She even managed a weak smile.

He pulled his mandibles inward, brows furrowing, his dark face looking ominous. "You have no intention of doing that. Officer Vakarian has already told me you've been living off stimulants and coffee for weeks now."

Tanith twitched. "... he contacted you over my sleep habits?"

Lorik's image straightened, his hands going behind his back as he lifted his chin. "Garrus Vakarian and I have been exchanging correspondence for over a week now. He's quite worried about you."

She rubbed her hand over her eyes. This was supposed to be the break in her stress, a chance to flirt and joke and gossip. If she wasn't so tired, she'd probably have been angry. As it was, she just felt ... more tired.

"Look, Lorik... if you want to have an affair with Vakarian in lieu of me, go right ahead," she said wearily. "Not that I don't already feel like my boyfriend is pushing me into a relationship with another man, it's starting to get a little claustrophobic between the two of you. I'm about to tell both of you to back the fuck off." It wasn't, really, and she wasn't going to do anything at all; she just ... needed to hurt something, anything, to make herself feel better. Thankfully, Lorik was tougher than that.

"He told me about the ... conversation you had." He gave a small smile. "You're certainly doing your best to make the most of your loneliness and heartache. I'm shocked at your level of masochism. You have a willing, caring person there that's offering to help shoulder the burden of your fears, and you won't take it. Even with my blessing. I'm hoping, truly, sincerely hoping, that this isn't more of your silly human notions of loyalty and monogamy."

"You always do that. Cut right to what you see, blunt and plain with zero tact." She couldn't even fake the irritation he deserved; he was making too much sense. She moaned and rubbed her temples. She was so tired. "Gods... you're both so freakin' confusing." She leaned forward until her cheek was mashed against the console.

"And you're trying to simplify this into a sexual thing, Tanith. You forget, you've tried to do that before. With me. On Omega." WIthout looking up, she could hear his smile. "See where that got you?"

She grumbled, straightening enough to glare at him. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"If it was just sex, Tani, you wouldn't feel so conflicted. And he wouldn't be so keen on simply spending time with you as much as he has, regardless of your attempts to ignore it."

More sense. Garrus had always gone out of his was to be around her, to distract her-

Of a sudden, she flinched.

"Oh God. Am I that obvious?"

"My dear child, you are walking wounded. Your eyes would make krogans weep-"

She flapped her hands at him. "Alright alright! I get it already! Jeez."

He tilted his head at her, flaring his mandibles. Smug.

"Yeah yeah," she grumbled. "Wise old man. I got it."

"Will you talk to him then?"

"Yes. Tomorrow."

"Tani-"

"Look Lorik, I'm going to do it, I know I need the help. I just ... Let me try and sleep on it first."

"That shouldn't take long."

"Har har."

He leaned closer to her, his expression serious. "Please, Tani. You need to take care of yourself. You're all I'm looking forward to these days, even without knowing when we'll ever see each other again. I can't have you falling apart on me, a walking zombie of a person without joy or hope or the optimism I've loved you for. Even if all we get are words and smiles through light years and long distance, I want to know you're okay and not rotting away from trauma and emotional scarring." The sincerity in his voice was palpable. "Please. For me."


	10. Chapter 10

Rubbing her eyes, Tani considered Lorik's words as she left the vid-com room. The whole concept of multiple partners with an _emotional _ connection just... wasn't something she'd ever considered. She wasn't joking when she'd told him that it felt like he was pushing her into the arms of another lover, but knowing Lorik... for some reason, it was easier to understand when she stopped trying to stuff this whole scenario in the 'casual sex' catagory. Him pointing it out made her aware that he was right; this wasn't just about a fling or blowing off steam. She cared for Garrus, and now she really understood how much he cared about her.

_I mean, come on. He contacted my boyfriend knowing full well that Lorik knew he was courting me, because he was worried about me. _

And there were the other little things. How he always grinned at her before he boarded the shuttle on the way to a mission, how he sought her out if she wasn't in the shuttle bay when he came back. Since he figured out her unfortunate sleep pattern, he was almost always in the mess hall before she was, and on more mornings than once, she often found a cup of hot coffee at her elbow right after she realized she'd forgotten to get herself one.

He never brought up how stressed and tired she looked. He never questioned her or offered advice she didn't ask for. He never hid how attractive he thought she was.

He also had no problem communicating with Lorik, and for some reason, this was one of the sexiest things about Garrus Vakarian. The man was fearless and unashamed. But then, he'd also met Lorik before, having lined things up for his coup of the Port Hanshan laboratories, so there was at least a foundation for friendship there.

Lost in thought, her feet found their way to her work station automatically, fingers queuing up her inventory lists and setting up her manifests for the day. It was the beginning of her shift; Garrus had a mission he was heading out on today so he wasn't around to spar with her in the wee hours. It was just as well; her talk with Lorik had helped untangle her brain.

Exhausted though she was, she drowned herself in her work and lost track of time. Before she knew it, there was a flurry of activity as Commander Shepard came down to select her gear and brief her team. Tani had barely registered all this when a familiar voice cleared his throat behind her.

"Ahem."

She smiled, truly smiled, and turned around.

"Good morning, Vakarian."

He seemed surprised, mandibles flaring wide in a deep smile. "Specialist Delano." He was already geared up and ready to go while Shepard and Vega finished with their preparations. "Have a good night?"

She shrugged, her smile fading a little. "Eh. I got my usual three hours, and then gave Lorik a call." She furrowed her brow but couldn't make her grin completely go away. "Turns out someone's been ratting me out to him. Any ideas as to who?"

His eyes went comically wide, pressing a hand to his chest. "Whaaat? Why would I know anything about that?" he crooned, mandibles flaring wide again. "That's a level of betrayal I am-"

"-completely capable of, as you are concerned for me and care about my well-being." Tani blamed her exhaustion for her lack of inhibitions. She took a step towards him, well into his personal space. His playful expression disappeared, surprised.

She put her hands on his waist. He visibly swallowed. She stood on her toes so that only he would hear her.

"Because you like me," she murmured, and squeezed.

That delicious shade of blue radiated up his neck and into his cheeks, mandibles slack, eyes dark with emotion. His own hands settled on her waist, pulling her closer tentatively. "Tani..." he breathed, uncertainty, desire, affection, and fear making his subvocals resonant and reverberate to her toes.

She let her smile fade away, letting him see her own vulnerability. It hardened something in his eyes, making him grip her a little harder and pull her into him. "That's the first time you've said my name," she commented.

"Heh."

She let him go to grip his armored cowl, pulling him down and planting a soft kiss to his mouth, tasting his gasp, tracing the underside of his upper lip-plate with the curve of her bottom lip when he opened his mouth. His eyes watched her, going wide at the affection.

"Come back in one piece, Garrus Vakarian," she whispered. "Find me, and we'll talk. Copy?"

He nodded, still without words. Both of them jumped, however, when Urdnot Wrex strode past them, laughing loudly.

"Seems humans have a thing for scars too, eh Shepard?" he cackled, grinning lewdly at the embracing pair.

Tanith felt her face burn as she dropped back to her heels, Garrus chuckling softly, both of them embarassed but far from regretful. He gave her one more squeeze before making his way to the shuttle, where the Commander, Steve, and Vega stood gaping at the both of them.

The Krogan was already inside, seated, impatient, and ready to go. "Come on, Shepard, we have a genophage to cure. You can watch your crew hump like varren later."

0o0o0o0o00oo0oo0oo0o0oo0o0o

Tanith turned off the update feature on her omni-tool. She'd been just fine until she watched the team dodge Reaper appendages intent on grinding them into the ground, not to mention the half dozen Brutes that showed up out of no-where. But then there was the mother of all thresher maws, and at that point, she'd decided she'd had enough heart attacks for one day.

She couldn't sleep. Sitting in the observation lounge, staring out into the stars beyond the Krogan homeworld, she couldn't stop thinking about her timing, and her desires, or Garrus's beautiful voice, his blue eyes, the way his hands had felt around her waist...

Thinking about such things kept all the other crap at bay, the images and dreams and thoughts that were coming much too easily now, her defenses worn through and worn out. It was silly, fantasizing, but it worked for now.

It actually worked a little too well. Her head lolled back and she figured hey, she could close her eyes for a minute, couldn't she? It's not like she could actually fall... asleep...

_She was huddled behind the crates, shaking, like she always seemed to be. It was hard to remember to breathe, she was terrified they'd hear her, find her, even amidst the panic and the shouting and the screaming. _

_She told herself to get a grip, to do what Kelly told her to and run, but she couldn't. She was immobilized by fear, helpless, needing to help but completely unable to. _

_And then she heard something that made her blood run cold. _

_"I know you," came the filtered voice of a Cerberus soldier. "On your feet."_

_Tani peeked over the edge of her hiding place, shaking. Oh no._

_"Are you willing to die for these people, Archangel?"_

_Garrus Vakarian glared down at the man holding the weapon. He lifted his chin, mandibles pulled in tight, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back, defiant. _

_"Yes, I am," he grit out. _

_The human pulled the trigger. _

_Blue blood and shattered Turian skin and bone exploded-_


	11. Chapter 11

Tanith shouted and tumbled from the bench, fists swinging out at the person that had gripped her shoulders and brushed her face. There was a grunt of surprise before a three-fingered hand closed around her wrist, the other catching her around the middle as she lunged.

"Woah, Spirits, Delano-" barked Garrus.

She blinked in surprise, shaking, looking up at him with wide eyes, her body rigid with fear and alarm. Her mouth opened and closed; she couldn't get her voice to work.

He frowned, letting go of her wrist and cupping her face. "Hey, Tanith... are you okay?"

The tone of his voice was soft, the cadence deep, the concern sincere. And he was touching her... She was _letting _him and she _wanted _him to.

She could feel the tears building, tears she'd held at bay for weeks, brought on by a torrent of emotion that pushed against the walls she'd built around her heart since Sorrow's End.

_No no no no no-_

"Tanith?" he whispered, brows knitting deeper.

That single word, her name, was the last straw. Something broke inside her and she burst into tears.

"Spirits-"

She didn't know how he managed to pick her up and set her in his lap, sitting on the bench and cradling her like a lost child. By the time she realized where she was and what had happened, she found her arms wound tight around his neck, his shirt soaked at his shoulder and owl, her cheek wet with tears. He was stroking her back, crooning softly, his other arm draped over her lap, holding her close to him.

Tani barely registered the hiccuping sobs echoing in her ears as her own, something she hadn't done whilst crying since she was a little girl. She couldn't stop trembling, couldn't make herself sit up. She felt drained, empty and numb, but not in a bad way. No, this was something she had truly needed for weeks now, and it amazed her how relaxed she felt at the end of it.

Finally, eventually, she calmed, cheek on Garrus's shoulder, limp in his embrace, remembering how to breathe slow and evenly. She'd dozed off again, made known to her when he shifted his grip and murmured her name.

She twitched, opening her eyes and looking up at him, unwilling to move more than that. "Yeah?" she croaked, voice rough with her tears.

He gave her the sweetest Turian smile she'd ever seen. "You're sleeping with me tonight."

She blinked at him, and his smile swiftly melted as he realized what he'd said.

"No, not like- I mean, not that I don't want to but I meant-... ah, hell-" he babbled.

His horrified expression made her smile, and then, before she knew it, she was laughing at him.

Feigning irritation, he grumbled at her as he stood, snorting at her squeak as he hefted her with ease. Still, she clung to him.

"I won't drop you," he growled at her, leaving the room and heading towards the forward battery. "Even though you deserve it for mocking me. Brat."

She managed a weak giggle. "You should have seen your face."

"Shut up or I'll let you sleep by yourself."

The mess was pretty deserted; it appeared to be the middle of first shift's sleep cycle, and while she was far from shamed about getting thrown around by Garrus, explaining the remnants of her grief wasn't anything she was interested in right now.

She couldn't help her blush or her shiver when he disrobed her in the forward battery. His touch would stray, caressing revealed skin at her clavicle, her hips, her knees, but he spared them the tempation of her nudity. In only her panties and her sleeveless undershirt, she climbed onto his cot at his insistence while he left to retrieve an extra pillow or two. While he was gone, she removed her bra and tucked it under her pile of neatly folded clothes under the cot. It was for a practical reason; underwires are damn uncomfortable to sleep in. At least, this is what she told herself. It was mostly true.

He dimmed the lights when he came back, tossing his pillow on the cot and next to her head. She was still awake but barely; weeping had apparently given her something of the release she needed. Relaxed but still wary, she watched him pull off his shirt and climb in behind her, pulling her back into his chest, the two of them laying spooned on their sides, her cheek on his outstretched arm.

His free arm pulled her close, lean muscles to softer shapes, tucking his knees behind hers.

His breath tickled her ear. "Mmm. It's like having a living, breathing body pillow," he murmured, that lovely voice of his making her quiver from ears to toes. He grunted, drawing the blanket up a little higher around her.

"Cold?" he asked.

She snorted; turians ran hotter than humans did. "No, I'm not cold," she whispered, her teeth chattering in her skull from anxiety, nerves, joy, fear... and...

She rolled her hips experimentally, rubbing the round curves of her ass into the cradle of his hips. He inhaled sharply, the arm not tucked under her reaching down to grip the exaggerated curve of her hip.

"Hey... you need to sleep, Tanith," he grumbled, shifting against her. It was too late; she smiled and repeated the undulating motion, rubbing soft curves into hard, Turian lines.

"Tell me you're not curious. I'll call you a liar."

He groaned. "Stop that. This is not where-"

She rolled over and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing her lips around the end of one trembling mandible and suckling, before grazing it with her teeth.

Garrus's eyes went wide with surprise, and no wonder; the last thing he'd expect was a deliberate, non-verbal, _Turian _sexual initiation manuver. His reaction was instinctive, gripping her ass and rolling to his back, Tani sprawling on top of him, Garrus growling deep and low in his chest. He swore softly, fingers combing into her long, tangled hair.

"Woman," he groaned. "Stop. Right. Now."

Her laughter surprised the both of them, lifting her head and gazing down at him. "Sorry," she mumbled with enough grace to convey her embarrassment. "It's ... mmm. It's been a while. I miss ... not being alone."

What she felt was actually more complicated than that, but she didn't want to try and sift through it all right now. "I'll be good," she sighed, laying her cheek on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat under her cheek.

He sighed, hands stroking down the planes of her back, claws lightly skimming her exposed skin here, there, until her twitching became a constant tremble, her fingers digging in to the softer hide between the plates of his chest.

"That's not helping," she grumbled. It surprised her how quickly her terrors and tears had melted into something else, something warmer, something so potent it took her breath and fears away. Something that made her squirm.

Garrus stayed silent, gently caressing her. Moments passed like this, moments that became minutes, and then minutes that felt like hours. Finally, as if he'd made a decision, she felt him tense beneath her and hold her close, shifting until they were on their sides again except this time she was facing him. He adjusted her a little more until she was on her back.

She blinked up at him. He was still wearing his visor. She tapped it and arched an eyebrow, parting her lips to ask him why-

He stole her breath away with a soft, tentative kiss.

Kissing, as far as she knew, was confined to the more humanoid races, at least as a natural affection. Asari did it, and humans, and if what Tali had hinted at was true, Quarians also kissed as a romantic affection. Turians, at least the ones that were inclined to, taught themselves to kiss when they found themselves in relations with any of the three species that did. It wasn't something they did among themselves, although they were inclined to touch tongues with intimate partners, as well as nibble, preen, and caress with their teeth.

Lorik loved to kiss; he said it was this action alone that got him started on his human fetish. He said he'd watched Asari do it for years, but humans, with their features and varied coloring in sharp contrast to the blue, mono-gendered beauties of Thessia, had arrested his attention like nothing ever had.

Garrus was proving to be a fast learner and inventive to boot. She was surprised when he nuzzled her lips with the seam of his mouth, parting her lips to open for him, his tongue darting past to taste her. She gasped into the unique kiss, eyes going wide as she felt his hand in her hair, holding her still as he deepened his caress. Swirling his long tongue around, rubbing across her own tongue, the roof of her mouth, grazing the edge of her teeth.

She was panting by the end of it, unaware that her hands had dug into his shoulders or that his warm palm was splayed across her belly under her shirt. He shifted again so that he was more on his side, still tucked close to her by design and neccessity. He, too, was breathing harder, faster, his eyes dilated and dark with warm desire.

"Show me," he said, his voice soft and deep. "Show me how to touch you."

Tanith felt her toes curl.

Not trusting herself to speak, she wrapped her hand around his wrist and drew his touch up, under her shirt, feeling her cheeks heat as he twitched in surprise to find her already bare. She didn't say anything, however, curling his long fingers around the underside of her breast, showing him how to run his rough thumb over her nipple. He rumbled in approval as he felt it contract beneath his touch, watched her eyes flutter and her breath catch.

To her surprise, he took it a step further and pulled her shirt up the rest of the way, ducking his head down to scrape teeth across the hardening nub. Her back arched as she gasped, fingers stroking the underside of his fringe, her hips bucking of their own accord.

Yes. It had been too long.

He nibbled down her sternum, stroking her quivering skin with his teeth, before he tugged at her underwear. She was going to suggest he pull them off, but his impatience took a turn for the scandalous, simply pulling aside the material and probing with his tongue to part her labia carefully, drawing the warm, wet appendage up the seam of her sex. She saw his eyes close and felt his low, delighted groan.

To say this pleased her was a drastic understatement.

Her thighs fell open around his head and she dug in her fingers, crying out and jerking under his mouth.

"Where the _hell_ did you learn that-" she moaned, resisting the urge to claw ecstatically at his face.

"Your boyfriend gave me some pointers," came the rumbling reply, eyes on her as he stroked a callous-rough thumbpad over her clitoris before circling around it. "I take it I'm doing alright?"

She tried to reply with words, honestly she did, but he repeated the motion of his thumb and she couldn't voice anything more articulate than a few strangled syllables. His circular strokes were slow, steady, but unwavering, consistent and maddening, making her whimper with every caress. Her head fell back as she arched again, breathing ragged, hands digging into the mattress of the cot.

He came up along her side, settling into her again, eyes on her face, watching her twist and pant, her head tossing. Sweat glistened on her skin, her brows drawn in, her expression one of pained pleasure, intense and over-whelming and shameless.

When it became too much, when she could feel the soaring ecstacy, she whimpered his name and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her muscles begin to spasm. Sensing her need, he drew his digits down and slid his two fingers into her, deep, hard, and fucked her with them in a series of quick thrusts.

Her back bowed and her eyes snapped wide open, her jaw dropping as she cried out again and again, startled and coming and unable to stop herself from lifting her hips to meet his hand, her sex clenching down, muscles fluttering and squeezing and gripping his fingers, her hands locked around his wrist.

When she was wrung out, she flopped back, boneless and panting, sweating and shaking, onto the cot. She was vaguely aware that he was growling into her neck, his face hidden from her, teeth nipping her flesh when he carefully withdrew his touch from between her trembling thighs.

She tried to keep her eyes open, tried to get her vocal cords to work for more than just the occassional moan. Neither effort was successful.

Vaguely, she realized Garrus had been completely selfless during all this, feeling what had to be a painfully hard erection press against her thigh. She tried to rouse herself and ask him what he needed, but it was getting hard to do anything other than breathe.

The last thing she remember before the sweet, dreamless sleep claimed her was a blanket being drawn up, her body turned and cuddled in to from behind.


	12. Chapter 12

Tanith couldn't remember the last time she slept so hard.

She did wake a few times, though. The first, Garrus was still curled up around her, arm possessively squeezing her middle in his sleep. The second time, he was up and working, Tani catching the faint, tinny sound of music; 'Fire In The Courtyard', if she wasn't mistaken. It was coming from the visor he always wore.

Didn't realize she'd made noise until he was by her side, a bottle of water and some pills in hand. She was going to ask him what they were for as she tried to sit up, but then the world tilted and she felt her face go figuratively green.

"Chakwas said you've been on stims for weeks," he said softly, his beautiful voice grating across sensitive nerves, accentuating the throbbing, nauseating headache that rang behind her eyes. He offered her the meds as she fell back, closing her eyes against the glare of the lights. "She said you'd be effectively hungover for a few days getting them out of your system. These are supposed to help you do it without puking." His mandibles offered a flicker of a smile.

She said nothing, taking what he offered and chasing it with the whole bottle. Murmuring her gratitudes, he smiled again as he pulled the blanket up to her chin. The apologies burned in her, though, and when she tried to express those as well, he shook his head at her.

"Shut up, Delano," he muttered, his tone affectionate. "Cortez is covering for you, but told me he's got nothing on you and that you'd better get your ass well."

Smiling weakly, she curled up again and closed her eyes.

The next time she woke, the lights were dimmed for the night shift and Garrus had her sprawled across his chest. Breathing quietly, she watched him with heavy lidded eyes, noting he barely snored, and that he'd arranged the pillows around his cowl so it was easier for him to sleep on his back and tuck her against and atop his body. Without his visor, the angles of his face seemed so much more vulnerable than she could ever recall, even without seeing his scars.

She brushed his cheek with careful fingers, down the sweep of his jaw, feeling a gentle tremor radiate through his mandible. He sighed and turned towards her, eyes still closed, still wrapped in sleep.

She smiled a little, feeling her own slumber calling her; her head still felt like it was stuffed with wool, her whole body aching. She surrendered eagerly, anxious to get better.

The next time she woke, it was first shift and the forward battery was empty.

Sitting up carefully, she assessed her overall well-being with slow movements, watching her hands, checking to see if she still had tremors or if her limbs still ached like death. To her relief, her head was clear and her body felt sound. A quick glance at Garrus' console told her she'd been out of a little under two days, and that they were docked on the Citadel.

That was a hell of a surprise.

Her clothes had been replaced by clean ones, folded on a crate nearby. There was an energy bar and a bottle of water next to them, and she went at both before she'd bothered dressing.

Dusting the crumbs off her chest and face before attacking her water, she decided she'd rather shower first before putting on clean clothes. Garrus was still out, so she stopped waiting, put on her old pants and headed out to the communal women's room.

"Cerberus has made an attempt to take over the Citadel, but the coup has proved unsuccessful. Commander Shepard is in pursuit of the Council. It appears Councilor Udina is responsible for the infiltration ," came EDI's clear voice. Seems Tani's face was giving away her thoughts again.

She flinched. Cerberus, here? That wasn't going to end well. "Who's down there with her?" she asked.

"Garrus Vakarian, Javik, and Lieutenant James Vega are with the Commander. My mobile platform is attempting to bypass security manually, Liara is using her sources on the Citadel to aid in the recapture of the station. The rest of the crew is onboard maintaining the ship per the Commander's instructions, and on standby should we need to retreat." Even EDI's voice sounded doubtful that would _ever_ happen.

Tani paused in front of the women's bathroom, frowning. Cerberus having access to the resources on the Citadel would make _everything_ problematic. "Do you need me for anything, or are we just going to sit tight and wait for instructions?"

"I'm assuming you're inquiring as to whether or not you have time to shower, Crewman Delano?"

Tani laughed despite the seriousness of the current situation. "Yes, EDI. Bathing can wait in life or death situations, much like anything else."

"As you are neither deployed as pilot or soldier, I think it's safe for you to shower, Tanith."

Tani smiled at EDI's tone; both affectionate and amused. "Thanks, EDI. I'll try to make it quick regardless."

Waiting was hard.

This wasn't like waiting on missions before the Collector situation. The feelings were different now, stronger, and the fear for her _friends_ was-

Her feet brought her to her work station, free to wander as they were. She decided not to fight it.

It wasn't that she felt no emotional attachment to the Cerberus crew; there was a sense of comraderie that was new to her and to many of her fellows. It had been what had made leaving the _Normandy _so hard after the mission, it was why they had banded together even in the welcoming colony of Sorrow's End. Risking your lives for each other did that, and then almost _dying_ together ... well. That had made them family.

It was probably why she still had nightmares, Tanith surmised.

After her respite triggered by Garrus, it was easier for her to process what had happened, no longer feeling the desperate need to lock it away for _later_. Now, she wanted to deal with it, wanted to accept it, and for no one else but herself. She couldn't be there for anyone else if she didn't look after herself first. Letting Garrus take care of her had made her realize that, driving it all home with a clarity common sense hadn't been able to.

So it was that while her hands were busy in the cargo bay, repairing a varity of firearms and upgrading several sets of armor, Tanith let her mind wander in a near meditative state. The images that birthed her nightmares still had her brow furrowing more than concentration did, but to her vague surprise she found none of it stung quite like it used to. Had it already been so many weeks? The loss was still there, deep and open, but not as raw; no, it was an ache more than a gaping wound, the kind of soreness that came with healing. It was a new sensation.

But still. She missed her friends.

Kelly would have laughed at her for being so sentimental, but she would have hugged her too. Barbara Allen would have brought her a cup of tea, one for her and one for herself, and, belly round with her pregnancy, would have smiled in that way she did that seemed to set the Universe to rights. Miles Jacobson would have rolled his eyes and offer to let her use one of his tampons, then grin when she slugged him in the arm. Tabitha Yu would offer to spar with her. Mason Patel would have taken her to the mess and cooked her something fantastic that his mother had taught him how to make. Gardener would have chased them out of his kitchen with a broom.

Tears streamed down her face as the hours went by, and still, Tanith's hands stayed busy.

EDI had done as she'd promised and kept her appraised. Apparently after some tense moments through a firefight across the Presidium and up an elevator (!), it had all culminated in a serious showdown against Ashley Williams, the Council, and ended with Udina shot in the head by none other than Garrus. She was certain she wasn't getting the whole story, but she saved the questions for later; it would still be several hours at the minimum before the team made it back to the ship.

After eight hours of work, she decided it was time for a break. Stretching, she made her way to the portside observation lounge. It was vacant, the rest of the crew grabbing sleep while they could. Tani still felt fairly rested and took advantage of the solitude to check her messages, hopeful that maybe Garrus had contacted her.

Several missed calls had her checking her omnitool settings. Since she knew she hadn't changed anything, it must have been Garrus that had set it to silent. Swearing at him under her breath even as she smiled, she flipped through her call log. One was from Cortez, after she'd crashed on Garrus' cot. The other two were from Noveria.

Tani felt her heart flutter.

He hadn't left any messages, but knowing Lorik, he probably did this to err on the side of caution. She had yet to call him from her omnitool, she hadn't had a chance to test out the new software EDI had installed after weeding out all the Cerberus spyware.

Keying up his private code, she bit her lip and wondered if he'd be there, a thousand thoughts flitting behind the simple musing.

_What should I say?_ she thought, flushing. _'Hi, I missed you, had great orgasms, wish you were here'?_ She rolled her eyes, five seconds into the call notification. _'I think I might be in love with someone else, but that doesn't seem to affect my relationship with you; can I just have two boyfriends?' _That last one had her face over-hot and, no doubt, beet red.

It had been near a minute, distracted as she was by her irrational thoughts, and when she'd realized just how much time had passed she made to end the call. Her right hand lifted to do just that when the vid clicked on the other end.

A very woozy looking Turian gentleman peered at her. He blinked a few times, dark features behind white clan-marks.

"Oh goodness," Tani blurted out, feeling foolish; a glance at the time had her flushing with embarassment. "I forgot the time difference, Lorik, I'm so-"

"Tanith?" her lover murmured, comprehension dawning on his face. His mandibles fluttered and-

-_why does he look so smug?_

"Did I wake you?" she asked sheepishly.

His smile deepened, his eyes sparkling. "No, my dear, not at all. I couldn't sleep so I was ... distracting myself."

Her lips quirked into a half smile. That sounded promising. Settling into the chair in the corner of the lounge, she crossed her ankles and pillowed the back of her head with her free arm. "Oh really?"

"Indeed. I received a lovely present yesterday morning. I wasn't able to open it until tonight, but I must tell you..." He leaned closer in the feed. "It was completely, totally, incredibly worth the wait. I've watched it four times, and I must say, Tanith, you look absolutely delectable."

Now she frowned. "Am I missing something? Watched what?" she asked, lost.

The look on his face- It went through a series of changes. Perplexed, confused... and then understanding, amusement. He threw his head back and laughed.

"...oh my. He didn't tell you what he was doing, did he?" Smug! Again! He was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Lorik, what's going on? What who was doing? What did I miss?" She sat up a little, lips curving in a smile even as she pressed him; his joy was infectious.

"Didn't you bother to wonder why he kept his visor on the whole time?"

_That_ pulled her short.

_Visor? Garrus? The whole time he-_

_...he ..._

Tanith clapped her hand to her mouth, eyes wide, face scarlet with heat.

Outside the port observatory on her way to the showers, Dr. Chakwas stopped abruptly as a squeal akin to a shriek sounded muffled through the doors to the lounge. Pausing, she looked in that direction as another high-pitched exclaimation burst forth, followed by some loud words that sounded vaguely like '_OH MY GOD!' _and _'YOU BOTH SET ME UP!' _and a peal of laughter.

Recognizing Tanith Delano's voice, Karin shrugged and smiled; at least someone was finding a little joy in the day, either that or a very good joke.

_"HESENTTHATTOYOUICAN'TBELIEVEYOUBOTHDIDTHATOHMYGOD DIDYOUDOTHATONPURPOSEHOLYFFFFFFFFFF-"_

Face bright red, flailing alternately at her omnitool feed smacking herself in the face with her free hand, Tanith was the picture of comedy. Lorik couldn't stop laughing and she couldn't stop squealing at him.

_"Lorik!_ It's not _funny-!"_

He was chortling. She'd forgotten how he was inclined to snort when he really found something amusing. It was adorable and incredibly endearing but _son of a bitch-_

"Oh, but it ... it is... Oh Spirits... your _face-_!" he wheezed.

"You can't- I mean it's just- you don't- _you can't record me and then just-_"

"But _I_ didn't-!"

"_LORIK QUI'IN DON'T THINK FOR ONE MINUTE I BELIEVE YOUDIDN'T PLANT THIS WHOLE SCHEME INTO GARRUS' BRAIN-!"_

His laughing took on a breathlessness, his laughter louder. "Tani... Tani I swear, it was his idea-"

She covered her face in the crook of her elbow and screamed. _That's just so much worse-! _Knowing that Garrus was, by action, kinkier than he'd let on and far more adventurous than she'd given credit for was _not_ going over well with her; that meant she was in for more such surprises, and if he was going to _bring Lorik into it-!_

Her laughter faded into a groan, Lorik's chuckles still resonating from her omnitool.

_I am in so much trouble. _

And why, _why_ oh why did that make her smile so much?


	13. Chapter 13

Despite the change in their ... relationship, Tani wasn't quite comfortable enough to wait for Garrus in the forward battery. At the end of her shift, she headed down to her cot at the bottom of engineering, stripping down to her sleeveless undershirt and a pair of shorts. It was always warmer down here than the rest of the ship, which was alright if you ran around mostly undressed. Tani's grandparents had been nudists, so she had little in the way of shame when it came to the concept of 'naked'.

_Come to think of it, _she thought, _it was probably why Subject Zero made this place her favorite little cubby hole. _

She perched on the edge of a stolen chair, she hunched over the workbench mysteriously placed in the bowels of the ship. Tools and circuitry were scattered across its surface, a sniper scope in various parts of assessment. Concentrating on a bit of wiring and using her omnitool to magnify what she was trying to accomplish, she carefully soldered a component into place, frowning, ignoring the wisp of smoke that feathered past her nose. Confirming that she'd made no mistakes, she leaned back to give a long, spine-curling stretch.

She brushed back a few tendrils of hair from her face before giving up and redoing the tail she'd pulled over her shoulder, twisting her locks at her brow to capture the strands out of her eyes. Satisfied, she bent back to her the component, turning it this way and that to consider her next move.

Her work ethic left her the more she pondered it. Giving up, she replaced the part on the bench and dropped her chin to her folded hands. Her eyes glazed over as she let herself get lost in thought, thinking back on the last few days; Garrus, Lorik, Garrus, Lorik...

The whole situation was just ... very bizarre. She'd never had two relationships at once, and Lorik was her first non-human, so two simultaneous, amicable relationships with _two_ non-humans? Good Gods.

Her brow furrowed. It's not that it was a bad thing. At least, so far, it didn't seem to be. Of course, things had only just settled, she'd only just accepted the situation. Garrus, she realized, had wriggled his way into her heart days and days ago, with his subtle care and stealthy affections. It was the little things.

And then with Lorik, it was the opposite; the man definitely had his way with the _big_ things. He was the politician where Garrus was the sniper. It was an interesting mix. To make matters more (or was it less...?) complicated, they seemed to ... well ... _like_ each other. As far as she could tell, it wasn't in a sexual manner, but more of a mutual respect/budding friendship kind of way. Definitely interesting.

She rolled her eyes, closing them as she smiled. _Interesting. That's a way to put it. My new lover is sending my existing one video of me in compromising, naked situations. 'Interesting' doesn't really cut it._

Really, if she took everything at face value, all she could say about the whole thing was thus: she was a damn lucky woman. _Oh yeah._

Careful talons undid the tie in her hair, a sensation that she took in through a haze of sleep, a state she hadn't realized she'd fallen into until she began to surface from it. As her hair came loose in a cascade of darkness, she turned her head to the side and murmured his name.

"Garrus," she sighed. "You live."

She expected a chuckle or a clever reply, and when she got neither, her eyes opened. He was combing his fingers carefully through her hair, slow and steady and in such a way that had her think of Lorik and their first night together. He'd never been with a woman with so much hair, he'd said, and he was fascinated with the weight and texture of it. When she went to visit him on Noveria, she'd let him brush it for hours; a blissful way to spend a blizzard.

Garrus, still silent, parted her hair in to sections, combing each section out with his fingers, twisting them together, untwisting them, reparting them... Tani wasn't sure why he was doing it, but she sensed something, turmoil or anxiety, pouring off of him and calmed only by his current actions.

So she stayed quiet and let him play with her hair.

It was a secret pleasure of her's; she loved her hair being touched and stroked and brushed and carefully pulled. She would endure hours of the sweet torture, often rewarding the affection with pleasant tortures of her own.

When his claws stroked across her scalp, she couldn't help it; she moaned.

He paused for a moment, the moment lengthening to minutes, the minutes into longer. Taking her chance, she drew away and turned around, unfolding her legs to set her feet on the floor. His bare hand dropped to his side, looking down at her with blue, blue eyes.

He was still in his armor, the surface of which was dirty and spattered in blood. His other hand had a death-grip on his rifle and the finger of his other glove.

She took all this in, and asked, "Did you come straight here?" She reached for his weapon, pried it from his grip. It took a moment for him to let her. She undid the latch of his remaining glove, putting both on a crate along the otherside of the workbench.

His gaze was pensive and anguished; thinking too hard about too many things, she guessed. Leaning over, hair spilling over her shoulders, she reached around him to press into the latches that would begin the process of removing his armor. He didn't resist. His silence unnerved her.

When everything was stacked with the gloves and he was down to his skin-tight undersuit, she pushed him gently to her cot and had him sit down. She reached up to his visor and accessed the controls with her own omnitool; she set it to record. At last, she saw a twitch of a smile.

She pressed his thighs open and dropped to her knees between them, returning his smirk with a warm one of her own. When he opened his mouth to say something, she dropped her head down between his legs and nipped the inside of his thigh. His whole body spasmed, and, glancing up, she saw his eyes go very wide.

"What-" he managed, before she parted the mesh fabric with her fingers and drew her tongue along the genital seam of his plates, pushing right below it with her other hand.

With a ragged grunt, his cock sprang free, half hard and darkening by the second. His wide eyes looked at her in confusion, then slow understanding as her mouth grew closer and closer to the head of his sex. Alarm flickered across his features, even going so far as to get a good handful of her hair to pull her back, but he wasn't fast enough.

The long, shuddering groan her first enveloping kiss and suckle pulled from him was worth the startled yank at her scalp. She drew her tongue along the sensitive underside of his cock, swirling around the head, and then slowly, slowly drawing it back into her mouth. She felt him lean back and heard him strangle out another moan when her teeth stroked oh-so-carefully over the ridge to his shaft. Her hands gripped his thighs, her eyes closing, her brow furrowed in concentration; she wanted to take it slow in the beginning, wanted him to _feel_ what she was doing, but it was wearing on her control. Her panties were sopping wet from the sound of his granite, velvet voice.

She managed two more slow passes of tongue and lips, up and down, up and down, before she sped up. She had to pin his hips down to keep him from bucking, and the startled shout from him had her a little worried someone in engineering might hear. Still, when he dug his hand into her shoulder and came, jerking, on her tongue, it was all so fucking worth it.

Leaning back on both hands, panting and staring at her, Tani licked her lips and leaned over to switch off his visor.

"When you've caught your breath," she purred, "be a dear and send that to Lorik for me, mmm?"

He was having trouble focusing, she could tell, but the flicker of a question passed through his gaze. She smiled slowly, leaning forward to kiss his chin. "I've never done that to him," she whispered, feeling very evil. "And he's begged me to. Consider it a kind of backwards revenge."

Understanding dawned and, within a few seconds, the vid was sent.

Garrus was stretched out on her cot, one arm pillowing the back of his head while the other was wrapped around her, her curves pressed into his side, cheek against his chest. He'd still be rather quiet, but Tani was patient and understood; he had a lot on his mind.

"How is it that you don't need to worry about ... ah ... ingesting?" he finally murmured, mandibles flicking.

"Over an hour you've been here and _that's _the first real sentence you say?"

"Priorities. Don't change the subject."

Tani snorted, reaching around to the hand he had around her. She twisted to guide it to her upper left arm, letting him press into the muscle. "Feel that?"

Careful probing before he gave an affirming grunt. "An implant?"

"Lorik had it put in the second time I came to visit. It introduces a chemical agent into my bloodstream when my body ingest levo-dextro ... um ... proteins? I forget how it works, but it keeps me from having any kind of reaction. Clever, mmm?"

He chuckled. "Sexual deviancy knows no bounds."

"You are such a hypocrit."

"Hey, technically, I haven't actually had _intercourse_ with y-"

"Keep talking like that and you never will."


	14. Chapter 14

Eventually, Garrus finally told her what had happened. Bailey, the attempted coup, the council, Ashley Williams, Udina ...

Thane.

Tanith felt her throat close off when he told her about the Commander's lover. It was the last thing he went over, uncharacteristcally hesitant as he brought forth the words, describing images with a sharp-shooter's clarity. It was like watching an impending mid-air collision, impossible to look away.

Her mind began to wander the moment she understood that Thane's injuries, coupled with Keplar's, was bound to be fatal even with how quickly they got him to Huerta Memorial. _What a horrible way to end that romance_, she thought, worrying at her bottom lip. _I had always hoped he'd find treatment, or a donor, or something. Shepard, of all people, deserved someone to come home to after all of this. At least ... maybe getting to be with him at the end will give her some comfort..._

"... -but that bastard Kai Leng-"

The world came back with a jolt.

She sat up with a jerk, feeling the blood drain from her cheeks. "What?" she barked.

Garrus blinked up at her, surprised. "What what?"

"Kai Leng. Kai Leng was there? On the Citadel?" Her tongue felt like sandpaper. Prickles on the back of her neck like a sword was hovering above her flesh-

"Tani?"

He never pulled a trigger on Sorrow's End. In fact, she wasn't even sure he did more than watch and smirk as her fellows died, like they were all too far beneath him to even be worthy of his blade-

"Tani."

-but he was here. He was close too. _Gods, can he feel me? What if there's something left in my 'tool, what if he can track-_

_"Tanith."_

Garrus gripped her chin and brought her gaze to meet his. He was sitting up now, frowning at her, cupping her cheek as he took in her rapid breath, her wide eyes, dilated pupils, the clammy texture of her skin. "What's up?" he asked softly, voice reverberating with subvocals meant to convey reassurance and comfort.

She tried to swallow, failed the first time, then tried again. She licked her lips and tried to find the words.

"It's nothing, I'm ..." Her eyes went unfocused, glazed with thoughts of- "The commanding officer at the colony, the one in charge of the e-executions..."

_He'd been so cold. I wonder how much of him is even human. I wouldn't be surprised if his heart wasn't replaced with a giant piece of throbbing Reaper tech._

"Crap. Tani-"

She ran a hand through her hair, dredging up a smile and willing herself to calm down. If nothing else, she did a good job faking it. "Stop, no Garrus. It just took me by surprise. Honestly, before the other day I think I'd be curled up under my desk somewhere if I'd known about Kai Leng." _I still might, but the delay means _something_, right?_ "No one knows where he ran off to, though?" she ventured. "Because if you all knew where he was, that'd be _awesome_."

Her lover managed a smirk. "Come on. I got something that might make you feel better." He swung his legs over and gripped the edge of the cot, feet on the floor. He paused. And paused. And-

"Garrus?"

"Give me a second. I still can't feel my legs."

Back in his armor, Tani followed Garrus through to the Shuttle Bay. She'd thrown on some boots and her pants just in case, but she really needn't have worried; the place was empty.

He stood in front of the armor console, dredging up specs and imaging of a very specific set of armor.

"We ran in to a new kind of enemy chasing after Kai Leng and his team." His hands flew over the keys, tapping up inquiries and bringing the projection into focus. "He has a team of mostly female soldiers called 'Phan-'" he began.

"Phantoms." Tani gave a shudder, ignoring the way his head whipped around to stare at her. "Yeah, I know them."

He crossed his arms over his chest, continuing to stare. She glanced over at him.

"I'll write a report up as soon as I get a moment," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I didn't think that it was classified. It was a disgusting sector fo Cerberus, honestly I thought they'd given up on it. Reaper tech and brainwashing kind of go hand-in-hand, but their first candidates for the program _weren't _volunteers but were definitely human. Given the Illusive Man's charter, I was surprised he put any amount of resource in to it."

Garrus had resumed his typing. "He certainly put a _lot_ of resources in to it. Look..."

And there, in all it's glory, was the infamous Phantom armor.

Form fitting and seamless, it was feminine and beautiful in its hard edges and razor loveliness. She'd seen a few of them but nothing completed, knew a bit about how they were manufactured and even what model of modifications that'd been updated for the third incarnation of the set.

He cleared his throat, bringing her back to the present. "I'm making this for you," he stated.

Tani blanched, did a double-take, then laughed. "I ... don't think that's going to fit-" She ran her hands up her thighs, over her round, wide hips. "-all of this."

Garrus flicked his mandibles, smirking. "That's why I'm going to make it. I'll need a few extra sets so I'll have enough material-"

Tani punched him in the arm. He had the grace to pretend it hurt.

"...but there are a few issues with the shields, I've noticed."

She nodded. "Phantoms are biotics, they project their barriers through the implants in their heads." She stroked a line through the holographic projection, outlining the power source. "I am not a biotic. It'd be just for looks, Garrus. But, hey, if that's what you want me to wear when I finally manage to ride you like a wild pyjak-"

That got a laugh out of him. She smiled.

"No, I'm going to design it so it's less of a biotic's setup, and more ... like ..." he tapped up another set of specs. "This."

She frowned, leaning closer to his call-up. "Garrus ... that's an infiltrator's rig."

"Yep."

"But I'm not-"

"No, you aren't a soldier. But that doesn't mean you won't ever see action." He tapped the console a few more times. "I'm going to fiddle with the design, but I..."

He paused, leaning against the edge of the console, braced against his hands. She recognized the rigid lines in his neck and shoulders; it was something that happened to Lorik when the weight of his responsibilities became too much, when he wouldn't let anyone else ease his burdens.

Tani reached out to trail careful fingers down his neck. She watched a tremor ripple through him.

"Talk to me," she murmured, encouraging.

He remained quiet a moment longer.

"I watched her face when the blade went through him," he breathed; his subvocals were rich with emotion, a throb of sensation that quelled and quieted and brought tears instantly to her eyes. "I saw something in her break, clean and hard, before regret flooded in and ... the self-hate ... it was ..." The velvet of his voice stalled; he turned his face away from her. She didn't argue.

In another minute, he drew a long breath and tried again, his voice stronger now. "I can't promise I'll always be around to protect you or save you when things get bad. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm ever going to let Shepard out of my sights, because as long as she lets me watch her six, I will." He shifted, finally turning to her but keeping his gaze down, gripping her wrists and rubbing the back of her knuckles with his thumbs. "But I want to do something to protect you. Especially because I can't be there. I need to know you have something to help keep you safe."

Tani couldn't breathe, listening to him; it was so hard to let him do this, to let him speak to her from a place so deep inside of him. Shouldn't she run away screaming? Wasn't this all too fast?

He continued, pulling his eyes up to hers at last. "I need to do this. Let me do this. It'll be one less thing for me to worry about when I'm out in the field." He didn't say please. His gray eyes were begging on behalf of all of him.

How could she say no?


End file.
